Love that Lasts-Communicating Effectively
While reading Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris, there was an excerpt of the book Love that Lasts by Gary and Betsy Ricucci where they shared ten tips for communication that could help you guide in the area of conflict in relationships.
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1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person (Proverbs 11:9).
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2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Dont use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument (Proverbs 15:1).
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3. Don't exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always (Ephesians 4:25).
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4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
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5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't the goal- you want to get things resolved (Romans 12:17-21).
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6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (james 1:19).
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7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin (Ephesians 4:26).
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8. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. make sure you don't hold a grudge (Luke 17:3-4).
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9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encouraghe each other as you press toward a solution (Romans 14:19).
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10. Train yor mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons!
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Conflict is not a bad thing, it is actualy a good sign that you are getting to know each other better. Instead of running away from it, we need to ask God's help to humbly resolve it.
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