There is hope

What am I doing way past 2 in the morning??? I just can' wait but write what has transpired during my absence of blogging. It was a hectic season. Getting promoted is not all that, it means working 16 hours. At least for me it means contending with lack of sleep, challenging agents, unrealistic CSAT (customer satisfaction) surveys, stressed managers and supervisors, harassed agents, clueless newbies, uncalled for reactions of people who you don't know if they want to be your friends or who wants to get the best of you so because they are empty inside and they need some comfort. Well yeah, I did felt like a comfort woman (ha ha), in the sense that people usually find it cozy to talk to me. But ey! It took its toll on me. I hardly had time for godly fellowships, church friends and activities. Sometimes I felt like I have a different world because my job requires 200% of my attention (spiritually, physically and emotionally). People get to be touchy when they are not appreciated and I guess being obsessive compulsive, I feel like after doing my best and people still find fault against me, I really get hurt. It's a season of contending with all these whirlwind of situation and relationships that can really leave me toxic. I sometimes want to disappear from it all but no I'm not in a fantastic 4 movie and I don't really have that power. My only consolation? I have Jesus! Yeah, just hearing his name and saying it makes all the difference. I know that when the blows of life keep punching me, God is there to carry me through. Honestly, I felt like walking in the dark for so long not because I am doing something that is not right but I felt alone and tired. When you have been fighting and still needs to put up a bold front for the people who depend on you, it’s kindda hard without God’s help. Matter of fact, God is the only one that made sense to me during those times. Now I realize that in the hardest and toughest situation, there is hope. There is sunshine after the rain, a dawn after the sunset, a season after another, a good God despite the ugliness of life. Well, well, well, I am learning that happiness is not getting what you want but being happy with what you have while believing and trusting God for the things you still long for. And the things you long for should not paralyze you from enjoying your life at present. Live you life now and be thankful of every little thing because I don’t want to miss my blessings at present so I can enjoy more blessings that will come. The art of appreciation is really more of an attitude than the altitude. It’s not a state of hype before you recognize someone but a decision to constantly recognize and thank God for everything he has done. I am becoming nostalgic again because I just came from Bagaberde. I enjoyed the sounds of U-Turn, Flipside and MYMP. I wasn’t prepared to go home but my non-call center friends are ready to hit the sack while I am at the peak of my adrenalin. So here am I trying to document my day while waiting for the gift of sleep. Life is what your maker directed you to do. Like a pen that was purposely created to be a tool to write on is not fulfilling its destiny when it is just on a display or used some other way. I feel like I need to know my life’s purpose away from my job and my ministry. Single people tend to mix their need for purpose and the need for a future partner. I know that if I am not complete I will end up expecting a man can actually complete me. Singleness is such a gift because now I can really say I have time for everything. I am being so productive with my time I hardly have enough time to think of relationships. God is the best boyfriend, husband, friend of all. A relationship is a gift and a responsibility. Only God knows if I am ready for it. Yes there is hope--- that is because, there is God. Recognizing that He is there is most crucial.