Please Restore Me

I’ll Remember You

(Jam Capistrano)

- special thanks to Miguel Capistrano for sending me the lyrics

I’m waiting here for you

I’m waiting for the promise that you’ll hear me

Lord, I am so tired of all that’s been

Going through my life

But you, you never left me

And you, you never let me go

I will cry out, all of my pain to you

I’ll remember you

With all of my troubles

I will hold on to you

I’ll remember you

Even if I’m down,

The more I will praise your name

And bow down

‘Cause you, you never left me

And you, you never let me go

Lord I am so tired

I am waiting here for you

Please restore me, restore me

- hearing this song one Sunday during these tough times helped me cry it all out. It is like the song itself are my very words each time I cry out to God. I was brokenhearted, was tired, was waiting. I needed restoration and I need it quick on a daily basis so I can go on and face the day.

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After four weeks of working 16 hours everyday and almost no rest day in between, the nesting of the new agents has finally come to a close.

God has been so good to enable to stand on the heights and I remained graceful in the midst of the haggardness of agents asking you questions left and right for 8 hours. During this time, I didn’t eat at all and there are times when I totally forgot to drink anything. I wanted to meet all the real time needs of the new peepz onboard. It’s a privilege to actually take them on for training since they are tenured agents, supervisors and qa from a solid sales account and now they will add value on our travel account.

I have created mini me’s of myself in the likeness of my team of mentors and floorwalkers. We have second part of the shift where we just do all reports and practically stay for 4 more hours.

After all this passionate addiction to be at the top of the game, God is gracious to let me shine. We ended not just passing our conversion targets as a nesting team but 3 out of the 4 I handled are the 3 highest ranking teams all over nesting history. The fourth team still holds the highest score amongst the other batch. And what do I get? I have the satisfaction of seeing these agents, supervisors, and quality assurance specialists shine. My mentors are now the most valuable that they are eyed for the next training and pool of mentors as sales coaches.

My managers would always remind me to go home but I have already instilled in myself that a job worth doing is worth doing well. Truth is, even if I want to but if the report is not done I cannot leave my mentors to do it because we are a team and I will do it with them. Seeing the results of our hard work, booking more than a million dollars in 4 weeks, and owning the top 1, 2 and 3 spot, gaining respect and satisfaction from my temporary purpose. I am blessed and happy that all my talents and gifting are put into use.

More than the physical pressure, contending with different personalities as a result of two merged accounts is more critical than anything else. Of course I have different schedules every week and every morning I would really ask God to show his mercy to me and my team as I face another battle. On the floor, I appear fearless, strong, in control, dominant if you may say ( it is sales after all) that no one dare or even see the need that deep inside I am also crumbling, wanting, needing to be touched and appreciated. Since, most agents and supervisors come to me for advise and help on their work, my compassionate heart most often than not rules even if it’s already out of my support. But going back to re focus my team so as not to loose any opportunity for conversion. I was way- more than tired. I think even on y sleep for new strategies. I start my day at 4am and end it at 9pm. I only see sunlight when I chance to see outside the office window but I am way to busy to even notice it.

Despite all of these, I am happy, I am motivated, I am inspired because God has planted me and has positioned me to be able to help more and more people as our account grows. I feel flattered whenever supervisors would request me to train them in terms of admin work and how to run a team. Who am I Lord? But empowering them and making them feel that they too are capable of the same thing and even more and seeing them do it on their own is enough reward for me.

I know that he who is skillful in his work will serve before kings and not before obscure men that is why I never stop. I am passionate more than ever to get things done and help more people do their job. God is my boss and God is the source of my promotion. My own manager knows this too and as much as I love her I won’t be surprised if she fails me because I have learned my lesson last year from my previous boss. God is my boss.

On weekends, I would make sure I hang out with any of my available friends mostly in galleria so I can take my mind away from work. I found a secret, aside from blogging which usually takes more time and analysis (I know how long I write spontaneously); I am now into writing poems. This gives my mind a time to relax and inspire me to think creatively. I have written 19 poems published online in 2 months. I can write 2 to 3 poems in one sitting. I didn’t care much if it rhymes as long as I have my idea on it.

I don’t know if it is because of the poems or because of my busyness that my heart has recovered fast. The pain is not that much. I can say I am healed 90% and it’s a conscious effort to train my thoughts and my eyes off the person and the idea I have created in my mind. Studying the words of Solomon reminding women to not awaken love unless it so desires. Love has to take time and mature. When it is ready and ripe, it will move into action. I have stilled and quiet my soul and I know that because I have already endorsed it to God, he will do the picking.

My agents would always quiz me about my personal life, multiply that by 27 agents and 4 officers and multiply again by 4 because I have different classes every week. So no matter how much I want to avoid the topic, I need to face and deal with it. Good thing is that it is an opportunity for me to share my faith that one day, not very long, I will meet this man God has assigned to me. I don’t need a lot of admirers. I am willing to wait for just one man that God has assigned.

I don’t pay attention to flirtatious acts common in any work environment specially in a call center or I may have trained my heart already to see them as God sees them so no matter how attractive and charming they maybe, I know already what I want. This week, I discovered that one of the supervisors I nested was my classmate back in kindergarten and she has two kids and a family already. While I, unattached, not dating exclusively and happily single for 5 years is ardently seeking for God’s will and fiercely guarding my heart from posers.

Too many people live for the future

And yet fail to live in the NOW

I enjoy life’s every season

Believing each moment as God’s will for me

I never stop loving

I never stop caring

I may be hurt like Jesus did

But every time that I get up

There is more love that I can give

Something more than I can share

For life is not about me alone

And life is not about what makes me happy

It certainly is not what I have already done

But life is about how many lives I have touched

Yes Lord, I am tired of what has been going on

But there is a reason for holding on

This brokenness is just for a season

I won’t let this thing loose my passion

For you are the lover of my soul

O God you never let me go

You have been there for me all the time

I trust in your perfect time