Clairest Of Them.....All (thoughts of a lighthouse )

Talent Profile on PitchYourTalent.com - Senior Team Leader/ Assistant Manager

2010-06-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

Talent Profile on PitchYourTalent.com - Senior Team Leader/ Assistant Manager

ELJ just strutting around

2009-08-28T09:58:00.000+08:00

ELJ's First BDAY

2009-08-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

HP Training

2009-04-01T05:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2009-03-27T13:31:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Glitter Grap hics

ETHAN LAWRENCE JOHN - 5 to 7 mos

2009-03-10T04:21:00.000+08:00

I just want to honor you...

2009-02-13T13:03:00.002+08:00

I just want to honor you...

I believe in the Law of recognition by Mike Murdock~

“Anything you don’t recognize, you fail to celebrate. Anything you don’t recognize, you don’t appreciate. Anything you don’t appreciate will gradually exit your life; it could be a gift, a person, an assignment, your mentor or your greatest promotion….

I live every moment to the full by recognizing that whoever is assigned to me now is God’s will for me.

You being in my team has a purpose and although time is ticking away, I savor every moment I am with this team…

Alamban, Roi Christopher “Tucker”- You have been very consistent in terms of conversion from the very start. I could always rely on your conversion because you never settled for the lower ranks. You love to always be at the spotlight or be at the top of the ranks. You are a great influence and a leader once you put your heart and focus into it. You can be great in any field and you always stand out. I know that if you make the right choices, you will become great someday.

Alfeche, Lailanie Joy “Rowena” – You have shown diligence in your work on the floor and even with your personal business. You are strong and focused. You are a visionary and you have a high ambition. People who knows how to plan for their future normally has something great ahead of them. You know where you are going and you know what you want. You are also loyal and loving the way I see you value relationships. I pray for success in all you do.

Castolome, Lisandro “Sandro”- in just a few short days you have earned my respect in how you value your work, your attendance, your conversion etc... Your consistency and your diligence have made you a master of what you are doing now. You are quick to learn and open to new learning. People like you will always succeed in anything you put your hands to.

Esteban, John Paul “Fitzgerald” – from the time I have handled you have been always excellent. What changed was how you have risen up as a leader. You are humble and gentle and you have proven that you can also lead. There should be more men that you should reproduce after you. Keep up the good work!

Fernandez, Joey “TODD”- even before you were on my team, I only hear good things about you as a person and as an agent. Thank you for being excellent and I know that you will be great wherever you go!

Galutan, Rochelle “Chek” – I had the privilege of knowing you and becoming your friend. Through all these time, you have been a faithful and loyal friend. I don’t believe in disposable friendships and relationships. I thank God for your purpose in my life. Continue to shine!

Gaviola, Catherine “ Janella” – I am glad we got reunited since way back your nesting days. There is a purpose and I am glad I was there for you. I know that you can be excellent and you just need to believe in yourself. Do not let other people or circumstances define you but discover how God sees you.

Ladera, Maureen “Amapola”- You have been a faithful and loyal friend. You are beautiful inside and out. Your diligence sets you apart as well as your excellent QA scores! Friends are friends forever if the Lord is the Lord of them and a friend will not say never because the welcome will not end. Though it is hard to let you go in the Father’s heart we know that our lifetime’s not too long to live as friends … (hope you know this song)

Lim, Denise “Jill” – beautiful outside that is for sure and funny to the maximum level. Joy and happiness doesn’t come from other people but from within which breeds from your personal walk with God. May you find happiness at the right place. You too have been excellent and I am happy to see y how you have blossomed!

Masangya, Ryan “Renzie”- I have known you since my beginning of years in Expedia. I have seen your heart and who you really are. You are a good person but a hurt one. Don’t let those “hurts” take the better of you but instead be BETTER and not BITTER. Good thing comes to those who wait because every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father. Trust him with all your heart and you will see success is not far ahead. Thank you for being a very reliable OIC all through this time. Again, don’t let you emotions rule you but rule it for that will show maturity and greater destiny.

Mendoza, Melissa “Madeline”- you have been an excellent agent even before you came into the team. Your positive demeanor sets you above your companion and that is your gift. Your joy is infectious and that stems from a good heart. Your kindness and good naturedness will always be rewarded.

Panganiban, Jocelyn “Jocelyn” – the time spent together is not too long but it doesn’t mean it is insignificant. With few days I have discerned your good naturedness, generosity and a heart that is open to be taught. Always reach for your goal and even beyond it. You are the only one who can limit yourself.

Petalino, Marizelle “Jennings” – I am just so happy to be proud of you in front of other people although you sometimes always feel ashamed of it. You are an asset to any supervisor, any company you choose to be a part of and it all stems from the fact that you have passion and drive to always be at the top. Thank you for coming back to the team and for the friendship. I will always contact you especially during my son’s birthdays :0

Sanz, Glenn Frey “Gordon”- you have been my top overall agent since October and that shows you are excellent. I see leadership in you and that is because you have learned responsibility and you have inner motivation. That is why you have earned my respect and I know that with the right choices, you will become great someday. You know how to balance work and play because of your dancing. You are a key player in my team and I want to thank you for rising up as a leader!

Tonolete, Poly Anne “Patt” – you may be new but you have shown that you can be great if you focus your heart into it. It is time for you to carve a niche for yourself and develop the discipline you will take with you wherever you go. Always do your best where you are placed because that may be your assignment and that is where you will see great rewards.

Veneracion, Maria Jennipher “Jemaria” – you are sweet and smart. You have been very thoughtful of your family and you are very consistent. You have the gift of tenacity and durability which not most people have. You have grace under pressure. I pray for your success in whatever you put your hands on.

ESTYUDYANTE BLUES

2009-02-13T12:53:00.001+08:00

DAMPA

2009-02-13T12:47:00.001+08:00

My son has taught me how much God loves me

2009-02-12T16:34:00.002+08:00

My son has taught me how much God loves me

When I look in Eljay’s eyes with love, it makes me remember how much love God has for me

The way my son gives me joy with his smile makes me know how much I cause a smile in the Father’s face

Or when I would play with my son, I want to make sure we bond
I know right there and then, God desires to bond with me as well

Or when I feed my son whenever he cries or when it is time makes me feel how much God anticipate my needs

Or how much my baby depends on me and my husband makes me feel how much God is dependable in every area of my life

Or when I feel how perfect my son is makes me remember how much God sees me as his perfect daughter simply because I am his own

Ethan Lawrence John's DEDICATION

2009-01-14T14:22:00.001+08:00

teambuilding pics

2008-12-21T10:04:00.002+08:00

Our lives are like tattoos showing what we really believe.

2008-04-25T09:26:00.001+08:00

I don’t know what’s with tattoo nowadays that many people are getting to be fanatics of body tattoo art. It is now very acceptable to place a tattoo because its defined as “self expression” or watchamacallit “for the sake of art”. Honestly, I find it beautiful specially after watching Miami Ink and LA Ink on Cable TV.

But I still want to be able to donate blood to those in need so I choose not to have a tattoo.

Last week, I had the chance to have henna painted on my ankle and it was beautiful. I just want to share it.

My husband and I went to Bulacan 8 Waves to swim and there was a booth that offers henna tattoo for just less than 200 bucks. It’s an opportunity for me to exercise specially now that I’m pregnant; swimming is the best form of exercise for my condition. After almost whole day of swimming, we decided to have henna painted on our bodies and we had fun admiring the painting.

So this is art? I remember God’s promise that our names are written in the palm of his hands. He simply cannot miss us. When I watched American Idol during their Idol Gives back show, David Cook had a henna tattoo written in his hand saying, “Give back”. Indeed David Cook made a strong statement and it added to the already touched viewers to give more to charity.

My point? How do our lives reflect what we believe? Just like a person who is judged by a tattoo on his body, what do people see in us? I really don’t care how I am perceived as long as I know how I really stand in Christ. It is to the Lord that I am accountable. Not all people would really agree to my personality and set of beliefs but I do know where I stand and who I stand for.

That is why I admire those with tattoo specially if they have strong godly convictions. That is because they are non-conformist in a way and they have the guts to stand for what they believe in. Ey! If you know who you are in Christ, aren’t you supposed to all the more show to the world about what you stand for or who you stand for?

Our lives are like tattoos showing what we really believe.

How Is It Being Married?

2008-02-23T06:23:00.001+08:00

Not because I'm forever answering that question since I got married last month but I finally got the inspiration to write again. I love my new blog theme because it describes what I really feel now. They say marriage is settling down and yes I have finally settled down and welcomed God's gift of marriage. It is more of a retreat for me. Retreat from the dog and cat chase after being single for 31 years! It's a retreat away from the world of searching because I have finally come home with my husband John.

That is exactly how I describe it when coming into God's presence; it is "my secret place". The world cannot take that away from me- it is personal, yet dynamic and growing. It’s far from the ways and cares of this world where I’m hidden in God’s everlasting arms of love and security

I am excited how God will both mature and grow us. To describe how I feel, I may start again with poem writing.

How I miss writing so I'll write occasionally, because I'm on a retreat :)

How Will I Know?

2007-08-24T17:26:00.000+08:00

Many man claims to have unfailing love
But a faithful man who can find?
Love is an action not empty words
Yet people would fall for anything
That shows a promise for eternity

But is it it’s all for convenience?
Or am I really seeing you now more clearly?
For how can you understand eternity?
When you are unsure of your security
You needed my assurance consistently

Yet love always hopes, always trusts and always perseveres
And who am I to judge you if God is the lawgiver
Still I will say yes to you as long as He says it’s over
Since God is Love and He says go, Him I will follow after all

Thank You for coming into my life this way

2007-08-24T17:24:00.000+08:00

You are everything I hoped the “giant” would be
You are kind and thoughtful in every way
You did secret deeds I never recognized ‘til today
You listened to me as if there’s no other day
You looked at me with a smile that says, “I care”

Thank you for coming into my life this way
Amazingly you express your love to me all day
What a joy, what a privilege, I feel light, I feel great!
I appreciate every single minute with you and every single day
God is so good to have allowed this friendship to stay

At the surface it seemed we are opposite in every way
Unknowingly we collide and differ in our taste
Yet for some reason we chose to go past the surface
Because deep inside we know, how we truly cared
You and I just jibe and hit it off right away

Despite my questions and hesitations to open my heart
I look for you and believe in you without a doubt
I realized that this is how God so loved us-
That while we were yet sinners, he died for us

I know for a fact, you are my assignment
I’ll pray for you, 'til you see everything I meant
That you are wonderful loved and can be freed
That He loves you so much, so let Him take the lead

My friend, you are the fulfillment of a past severed friendship
Since you responded so smart and recognized this relationship
Not only shall we both enjoy and grow in this newfound friendship
I’ll bring you closer to God and submit to his Lordship

Anticipating the Great Reveal

2007-08-24T17:21:00.000+08:00

It was the oddest of time when I first met you
It was the oddest introduction, nothing special too
If not for the outstanding deed you pulled out
You constantly distinguished yourself from the crowd

Unassumingly you are gentle, witty and kind
You speak of things which I strangely care about
For now I am evaluating carefully
If the time is ripe you will say it confidently

You are a rare breed and seasoned by time
I wonder like me, did you wait for 'The One'?
In so many things we are so much alike
For some strange reason I like who you are

Well, I recognize my taste is uncommon
It's not the outside attraction I usually envision
But looking in your heart so full of compassion
I know very well that day - we'll carry on...

Anticipating the Great Reveal
I don't want to preempt but I sense it is near
I pray that He will make it so clear
I know you won't waste time, you'll claim me 'my dear'

Sonnet LXXXI

2007-07-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

During life's lulls are lessons unexpressed but of colors and lines
From that stillness, you'll know more of Him....

Sonnet LXXXI
- narrated by Andy Williams and Julia Roberts

And now you're mine.
Rest with your dream in my dream.
Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.
The night turns on its invisible wheels,
and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber.
No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams.

You will go, we will go together, over the waters of time.
No one else will travel through the shadows with me,
only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists
and let their soft drifting signs drop away;
your eyes closed like two gray wings,
and I move after, following the folding water you carry,
that carries me away.

The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.
Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.
~Pablo Neruda (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/sonnet-lxxxi)

(from The Love Poetry of Pablo Neruda - originally written in Spanish, so what you see here is only a translation. Nevertheless, you'll be lost in awe)

A Kimpossible Feat

2007-06-24T09:00:00.001+08:00

It was a week when we were faced with the toughest of situation. It’s the 3^rd week and our team lead Norvic would be in Singapore for a family wedding. Aileen, our master props head director and Mike, our afternoon team lead won’t be available as well. It was kindda scary at first because our heads won’t be there.

It was like an Impossible Mission. But God showed up because it was all about Him. As long as there are people willing to do his work, he will be there to bless the work of their hands. Everyone rose above the call of duty. Richard became more efficient than ever and so is Cendy who became the overall Administrator together with Vivian. Both alternatively danced and did admin. Vivian even brought the house down with her adlibs when she did the Villainess Shego part for pm services.

As usual, Benj was great Drakken and so are the morning professional actors JC and Franco. Harvard of team 2 portrayed Ron and gave a very lively performance. It was not my first script, since I did CARs the previous month. But the excitement of directing Kimpossible was my first. Juggling the music, the video and the PPT was something else. Most of us helped the entire day and we all had fun!

Singing took a backseat although I did help the backups since I had a microphone at the sound booth. The excitement of seeing every actor portray their role and the kids responding to the message was more than rewarding. It was indeed special because it was Father’s Day and I was inspired by my Father’s memory when he was still alive. He too raised me and my siblings to fear God. He too like Kimpossible’s Dad was my hero.

I was amazed by the 9am technical team or was it 11am? Jeff and the group helped me in the videos for Kim since Jeff was a webmaster. There were some missing components in the file not available on the laptop we were using and Jeff’s ultimate laptop came in handy. Who would have taught God would send him when we were all resolved to just play the music. But no, we had a musicale! Harvard, Louie rapped!

Rhia, we discovered was an all around actress and gamely danced, sing, kicked, acted and even hosted the games. Louie amazed us with his stage presence. It was a treat when Aileen and Mike showed up in the pm services. Jeremy preached his heart out and we were recruiting him to join the team if not for Ptr. Paolo’s directive for him to help out in all teams.

By 5pm, everything was flawless. We all had a blast and realized that interruptions to our normal routine is God’s way of showing us that he has not left us but He wants to move in the situation.

I’d say with God, nothing is Kimpossible!

Let me tell you a story about Romeo and Juliet

2007-06-24T05:11:00.000+08:00

Link

Gayette's straightforward view on BFF style of defraud and the value of discipleship.

Look at them Now!

2007-06-18T00:25:00.000+08:00

Ain't really the type who make friends because of position. I treasure friendships and just love to shower them with affirmations with what they can be specially with Christ in them. Amazingly when I reviewed my friendships- most of them were agents then. Unknown, simple, haggard because of graveyard shifts. Yet I found gold in them. Most of them are now promoted after a year or so and the most wanted in our account. Some where doubtful in the beginning but I have an eye in recognizing greatness. In time, these people emerged to be the cream of the crop.
Kat - is now an ADMIN. We were hang out buddies back when she was still an agent. Til now she has remained a friend.
Chuck - he never became my direct report but we became friends back when he was an agent. Now, he is one of the most valued service nesting supes because f his tier3 expertise.
Elmer - was my direct report prior to sales. I saw him flourishing there because of his jab skills. Less than a year, I joined him in the sales account where he is most respected because of his gift of teaching. He has been promoted to supervisory level after joining training and overseeing classes. Mr. Fabulous!
Rex B - silent slayer! Mr. Consistent. Accidentally ends up to be my best agent for two months straight because he is a consistent excellent machine. He has soften down and yet brilliant as ever with his training skills - wild at heart, now he knows how to pursue with passion. God bless on your Lead Trainor job.
Fatima - the sweet gal who is now flourishing in her new IT job. I think you didn't say goodbye.
Minette - bubbly, graceful, charming and smart. I never doubted her and now she just got her supervisory promotion.
Kristine - sweet, loyal, kind and intelligent. She takes on instructions well because she is an engineer matter of fact. You deserve the new supervisory role.
Mege - honest to a fault, workaholic to death, passion is not enough to describe Mege. He has the drive, the knowledge, the skill. It is just a matter of time, if they see the greatness in you the way we see it, then good for them. If not, they missed again and damned for the wrong decision. He is priceless. Give him the goal and he will do it for you. But you need to win his heart first- he is no fool!
JD - previous supes can't believe he used to be my topgun alongside Ann Bandril and Guia Yu who are both in Emirates Dubai. He is my big boy because of his age (20). Yet he is unstoppable and he always nail down perfect CSATs for several months. Now he is a mentor. If he wills enough, he can be a supervisor.
Joy, Vistro, Celestino, Cathy - they all started with me and now they are doing the floor walks. A little more and they would hold any position they desire.
Vien, Betty, Hasher and GM - these are already tenured supes, trainor and HR but worth mentioning because they are my spiritual block. Gio will always be a part of us.
Poupe and Kristine - my ever faithful girls are now joined by Minette and Apple and more. Worth mentionng though not part of my account because they keep me balanced.
Rhesa - is my special friend from CARE to SALES and wherever life may take us. I have her back and she has mine. We love each other through thick and thin.
My current team Celeste, Khalil and John as OICs and a powerhousecast (grace, dimples, anna, allan, renee, rhea, charrie,xavier)- I want to keep them until next shift bid. They are gems!

Nesting 9A, 6B,8B and 7B - all of them I handled, left history that is still left to beat as the top 1, 2 and 3 for all nesting batches while 8D has the highest score amongst the 8 Batch. They are the future of Expedia.

They are all my fruits and I am humbled to see where they are now because I am not worthy to see all these promotion and success take place right before my eyes. "People doesn't care how much you know until they know how much you care".

I am happily doing my purpose and passing it on to them. No secret, just spend time, genuinely love, build relationships, treasure them and win them all to God. There is no greatness apart from Christ!

Enjoy life , enjoy work, enjoy God!

2007-06-18T00:17:00.000+08:00

(special thanks to Wood for his palm artworks used on this entry from his Prayer Series where he used Pocket Artist to create his masterpieces - http://woodaf737.multiply.com/photos/album/ )

I am growing and flourishing in my work too. Matter of fact, too much that I need to rest because I have been working 16 hrs daily including sundays for more than a month.

The management is just too happy to give me one week leave. But then I am praying for a promotion-anywhere, anyplace God will open doors for me. So far, during my vacation, I am realizing a lot of things:

1. We need rest so we can be more productive.
2. We need to enjoy our work because it is a gift from God.
3. All things changes and we live in every season.
4. To enjoy life, work and the fruit of our labor is actually a gift from God.
5. Since I am happy with my work, I am enjoying my team and I am enjoying my fruits, then I am blessed.
- we may have other longings for the future but to be able to enjoy what you have now is a gift from God.
6. We may not understand what is happening in life but God makes everything perfect in His own time
------Don't be shaken by life's little tremors and shakings. There is a reason for that. Trust God and seek God so you can follow his timing and understand his ways. This will make you happier because you know God will make everything perfect in His own time ( not our own time)

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Enjoy life , enjoy work, enjoy God!

He will make it plain to you...

2007-05-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

Marco’s wedding was simple and yet very memorable. Personally, I never attended a civil wedding and this was my first- my brother’s. I actually like it because it was simple, not expensive and we still had a sit down celebration with few close friends at The Room Upstairs in Reposo (the place to be for VCF singles on Saturdays). My mom and my dad were married civilly and although Marco and Jen will have their church wedding in Spain when they go back there, I wanted my own to be in the church or in a garden.

It just felt like I was in a teleserye than an actual wedding because of the courtroom setup. It was an unusual crowd as well- David Bonifacio as the sponsor (youngest ninong I have met), Donita Rose as one of the sponsors too and for a minute there was laughter because the judge had to admit she was her fan. William and Tanya as the other sponsors (William has been with my family in all important occasion for my brothers). It was still a spiritual family gathering as a matter of fact, and we are blessed to have Ptr Rey and wife from Turkey in one of their very few appearances...

The most memorable part was during the exchange of vows when Marco was saying his piece and I was really crying uncontrollably, thank God I managed to not make a sound like a crying cow. I asked my other brother Jehu why all of a sudden I was emotional like I was a stage mother and I arrived at the thought of maybe everything has turned in to reality for me only during that time. I have attended a lot of weddings but it never felt like this one. Maybe it was because it is the first in the family or maybe I remember my youngest brother still calling me “Ate Claire” when I was trying to pick him up when he was 3 years old and yet in front of me was a grown up man exchanging vows to his bride. I thought the feeling was isolated. Marco later on confessed that during that exact time he was mentioning his vows, he felt like God is separating him from the family to start his own (For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh-Gen 2:24).

Oh well, with all those emotions I have learned my lesson that next time, I will not agree to be the host if any of my siblings ever decide to marry. I can probably sing but not host like I normally do on other weddings. I looked miserable trying to cheer myself up during the ceremony when I co-hosted it with my other brother Jehu. It is really different if you are the family of either the bride or the groom. Or probably I will get the hang of it specially because I have 3 other siblings anticipating the ceremony anytime in the near future. It was a joyful celebration for Jen’s side as well as on our side. I am starting to believe that the ceremony is really more for the bride than for the groom because Jen’s family was so happy and thankful after seeing how much we have welcomed them and Jen with open arms.

When Marco decided on it, I have no doubts and I had peace. Matter of fact he has mentioned it already last December, roughly five months ago. Plus the fact that I know how hard it is for a man to decide on such matter means he really had a lot of time of thinking. He was our youngest in the five siblings and yet he was the first because it was God’s timing. Although of course, my mom would have her own predictions about my oldest brother going first, me second, 2^nd brother next and so on… I am glad something happened this year.

The answer was revealed to all of us the night prior his wedding when plans about a mission startup in Spain will commence and Marco and Jen would be the first point of contact. Jen is a Spanish citizen, having worked there for eight years as a nurse. Marco will automatically gain the citizenship after the church wedding there. It was very timely because the plans would start as soon as both of them flies back to Spain.

God really make everything beautiful in his perfect time. Marco and Jen had felt affinity and closeness even the first time they met. They both testified that they felt they have known each other for so long that there was no struggle to get to know each other deeper. Ironically, both have opposite preferences when it comes to physical attraction but because it was God who placed the love in their hearts that is why it superseded their outward preferences.

I never saw Marco so comfortable and at rest as now. He looks content, happy and settled. There may be challenges that would lie ahead but because he has found favor in the Lord by finding a wife (He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD Pr 18:22), and with God as the center, he will always turn out as the champion.

About readiness, only God can say you are ready. Practically, one should have savings, finished school, asked for godly counsel, write their own standards etc…But aside from that, it is all by faith. If you are God fearing and listens to him before making a step, I am sure that he will make it plain to you.

(special thanks to Paul Bautista for the excellent pictures, his work is up for sale at The Room Upstairs or visit http://fotobaut.multiply.com/photos/album/2 for more of his masterpieces)

Setting Sun

2007-05-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

I had this conversation with a co-worker about sunrise and sunset. I used to love sunrise because it depicts hope and a promise of a new day. I was opened to the idea of the sunset’s beauty because it is romantic and it means soft lights, orange horizon and very dramatic. Since then, I never looked at sunset the same again. Lately, I am contemplating on Life’s Seasons. It is possible to miss out the purpose of today’s season if you are caught up in your future (next season) and your past (last season). And since nothing is permanent in life but change, seasons are sure to come and go. But God would always be faithful to guide us through every change and we get the purpose for that season from him alone.

I see a different season unveiled right now before me. And sometimes, just when you are having so much fun at present, you don’t want to welcome the change that is about to take place specially if it means people you dearly love has to exit your life because they too need to follow their own purpose and destiny. These unpleasant changes wake me up to remind me that I just need to look to God because he is the author and finisher of our faith. He would always work everything for the good of those who love Him.

My consolation is that I have obeyed God during that period and I have embraced and loved those assigned to me for that time being. I need to move on so I can have the best that God has for me and help more people along the way. Ecclesiastes 3:1 talks about timing on everything, “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven”.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end” Ecc 3:11

~ I don't have to understand it , which most of the time, I don't, but trusting God makes the difference...at the proper time I will understand it..at the proper time, the beauty of the sunset and its grandeur will be revealed...

I have friends and agents moving on for better job offers and promotion which means less time if not rare times of togetherness. I have friends settling down and getting engaged which means they need to focus on their husband more and less of me. I have a brother who just got married which means he has his wife to call first whenever he needs advise. And since I value relationships and thrive in them, I may need to re-adjust my focus as well depending on God’s new assignment to me.

My new set of direct reports, a possible promotion, the new circle of friends in KC Fort are some of them and trusting God with all my heart and not lean on my own interpretation of the times makes it easier for me to have a better view of things and cope up with the change of the tides.

Just last Friday, I joined the worship night for singles at the Fort and I was refreshed to see old friends including my own cell group, cell leader and KC teachers. The next day, just when I was about to hit the sack, Aileen Y called me to meet up with friends at The Room Upstairs since Miguel’s brother Jam is performing. At past 10 PM, right after stepping out of the shower, I met up with them to enjoy fellowship and music with KC peepz (Mike P, Vivian, Aileen Y, Richard, Chico, Bryan, Poink). They decided after the 2^nd set to proceed to IO and we had a blast specially when my old friend Tere joined us. They were too happy that I am not in a hurry to sleep or go to work which I normally do to excuse myself. Going home early in the morning I understood why I need to welcome the new season- there are new people assigned to me.

The next day, Sunday, I forced myself not to come to work and get addict with work again because I have been coming to work for more than a month during Sundays even if I don’t have to just because I want to take advantage of the silence and do my work in advance for the week. I attended 5 PM Fort service with Aileen Y and had dinner and movie with the single peepz of Fort. Pirates of the Caribbean was worth it because I am with the people I love. If you know me, I only do things if it involves my passion- reading, writing and spending time. Aileen Y and I escaped the group by 11PM to linger more at UCC near Starbucks 6750 to pray and enjoy the stars. I am starting to grasp and re-focus myself to this new season.

Like the sunset that fades in the dark, only for a time and then reveal its glory again so you can see everything in full by sunrise……….

(photo by: Paul Baustita of http://fotobaut.multiply.com/photos/photo/2/18)

Nesting Pictures

2007-05-20T02:29:00.001+08:00

Here are some of the nesting pictures mostly from the last batch. The last batch was like a breeze and a holiday. We didn't feel stressed and they outperformed the last 2 classes and ended rank#2 in all nesting class history. I also included a couple of pictures from the first batch who holds the record of rank#1 in all nesting history for this travel account. My agents would love this!

(From L-R: Peer Mentor Kristine, Trainer Joyce, Peer Trainer Minette, Supee Moi, Nesting SupeTin and Mege Peer Mentor)

They are my powerhouse cast that made my every nesting successful - Kristine, Mege, Minette and also from my other nesting batch - Chie. You guys are amazing!

A SongWriter's Night held @ The Room Upstairs (2nd floor LRI Building, N.Garcia/Reposo Street across Alliance Francaise, Makati)

2007-05-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

Attended A SongWriter's Night held @ The Room Upstairs (2nd floor LRI Building, N.Garcia/Reposo Street across Alliance Francaise, Makati) on May 12, 2007. It was also a "Bon Voyage" gathering for the Kyrgystan Short-term Missions Group.~ thanks pretty adjeng for letting me steal some of the pictures
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Acel and Sandy

Adjeng and Chinie Nepomuceno

Adjeng and Claire Pajo

Adjeng and Mimi of Iloveyoustore

Adjeng and Ronald Tupaz

Adjeng playing HUWAG NA LANG KAYA with Boy Kulot on vocals

Michael of Michaelangelo, Guy, and Mike's girlfriend

Mike Unson_Stand Up Comic

Miko Pepito doing his thing

Paul Pajo and Rodrin

Ross,Adjeng, Ikit, Nityalila,Mimi2

It was Saturday, my first night out after nesting period at work (*nesting is another word for transitioning agents by exercising theoretical knowledge to practice as they take calls on a full length shift). I really planned to check out the song writers night at “The Upstairs Room” in Reposo since it’s the fourth show my brother has produced and I haven’t attended any yet. So my friends Line, Wendell, Will and Ben decided to come. But there was a party we needed to visit in Cubao before the gig. There started the night of adventure. We got lost on our way because we didn’t know the exact location. After 3 hours late we ended in party full of dead people cold as ice. Matter of fact, I haven’t attended a party in my entire life that is as lame as that. I remember going to funerals as more joyful and fun. Mind you, after 3 hours, the celebrant wasn’t there and the assigned party hosts just looked at us with a look that is cold as ice and we really didn’t feel welcome. If it were my car, I would have driven straight to Makati to watch the gig. We decided on eating barbecue someplace. At least, even if the place is jam-packed, there is more warmth from strangers smiling than the people from the party. Elline, Will, Ben and I ate, and had some ice cream for dessert. I pity Wendell that he needed to endure the people because he stayed behind. I didn’t want to go out of the car to join the party but we need to honor will’s invite so we greeted the celebrant but our harts and our feet wanted to run as fast as we could. My friends are waiting for me in Makati, so are Richard and Mike who has been following up on where I am. If I just knew this would be the case then I should have asked them to pick me from Cubao back to Makati. So goes our adventure and I know that any interference with my schedule has a purpose. Yes Ben needed company that time and it’s all for him. The Upstairs Room gig was a huge success because many showed up to perform and support the Kyrgyzstan peepz who will go this May for a two week mission. It was comforting to see familiar faces and most of all; I am in a place where I am celebrated. The artists were deserving of each applause and even if I am not eccentric, I enjoyed it.

This was after that lame party I shouldn't have attended. My haggard look says it all but I needed to see my bro's show.

Please Restore Me

2007-05-14T21:01:00.000+08:00

I’ll Remember You

(Jam Capistrano)

- special thanks to Miguel Capistrano for sending me the lyrics

I’m waiting here for you

I’m waiting for the promise that you’ll hear me

Lord, I am so tired of all that’s been

Going through my life

But you, you never left me

And you, you never let me go

I will cry out, all of my pain to you

I’ll remember you

With all of my troubles

I will hold on to you

I’ll remember you

Even if I’m down,

The more I will praise your name

And bow down

‘Cause you, you never left me

And you, you never let me go

Lord I am so tired

I am waiting here for you

Please restore me, restore me

- hearing this song one Sunday during these tough times helped me cry it all out. It is like the song itself are my very words each time I cry out to God. I was brokenhearted, was tired, was waiting. I needed restoration and I need it quick on a daily basis so I can go on and face the day.

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After four weeks of working 16 hours everyday and almost no rest day in between, the nesting of the new agents has finally come to a close.

God has been so good to enable to stand on the heights and I remained graceful in the midst of the haggardness of agents asking you questions left and right for 8 hours. During this time, I didn’t eat at all and there are times when I totally forgot to drink anything. I wanted to meet all the real time needs of the new peepz onboard. It’s a privilege to actually take them on for training since they are tenured agents, supervisors and qa from a solid sales account and now they will add value on our travel account.

I have created mini me’s of myself in the likeness of my team of mentors and floorwalkers. We have second part of the shift where we just do all reports and practically stay for 4 more hours.

After all this passionate addiction to be at the top of the game, God is gracious to let me shine. We ended not just passing our conversion targets as a nesting team but 3 out of the 4 I handled are the 3 highest ranking teams all over nesting history. The fourth team still holds the highest score amongst the other batch. And what do I get? I have the satisfaction of seeing these agents, supervisors, and quality assurance specialists shine. My mentors are now the most valuable that they are eyed for the next training and pool of mentors as sales coaches.

My managers would always remind me to go home but I have already instilled in myself that a job worth doing is worth doing well. Truth is, even if I want to but if the report is not done I cannot leave my mentors to do it because we are a team and I will do it with them. Seeing the results of our hard work, booking more than a million dollars in 4 weeks, and owning the top 1, 2 and 3 spot, gaining respect and satisfaction from my temporary purpose. I am blessed and happy that all my talents and gifting are put into use.

More than the physical pressure, contending with different personalities as a result of two merged accounts is more critical than anything else. Of course I have different schedules every week and every morning I would really ask God to show his mercy to me and my team as I face another battle. On the floor, I appear fearless, strong, in control, dominant if you may say ( it is sales after all) that no one dare or even see the need that deep inside I am also crumbling, wanting, needing to be touched and appreciated. Since, most agents and supervisors come to me for advise and help on their work, my compassionate heart most often than not rules even if it’s already out of my support. But going back to re focus my team so as not to loose any opportunity for conversion. I was way- more than tired. I think even on y sleep for new strategies. I start my day at 4am and end it at 9pm. I only see sunlight when I chance to see outside the office window but I am way to busy to even notice it.

Despite all of these, I am happy, I am motivated, I am inspired because God has planted me and has positioned me to be able to help more and more people as our account grows. I feel flattered whenever supervisors would request me to train them in terms of admin work and how to run a team. Who am I Lord? But empowering them and making them feel that they too are capable of the same thing and even more and seeing them do it on their own is enough reward for me.

I know that he who is skillful in his work will serve before kings and not before obscure men that is why I never stop. I am passionate more than ever to get things done and help more people do their job. God is my boss and God is the source of my promotion. My own manager knows this too and as much as I love her I won’t be surprised if she fails me because I have learned my lesson last year from my previous boss. God is my boss.

On weekends, I would make sure I hang out with any of my available friends mostly in galleria so I can take my mind away from work. I found a secret, aside from blogging which usually takes more time and analysis (I know how long I write spontaneously); I am now into writing poems. This gives my mind a time to relax and inspire me to think creatively. I have written 19 poems published online in 2 months. I can write 2 to 3 poems in one sitting. I didn’t care much if it rhymes as long as I have my idea on it.

I don’t know if it is because of the poems or because of my busyness that my heart has recovered fast. The pain is not that much. I can say I am healed 90% and it’s a conscious effort to train my thoughts and my eyes off the person and the idea I have created in my mind. Studying the words of Solomon reminding women to not awaken love unless it so desires. Love has to take time and mature. When it is ready and ripe, it will move into action. I have stilled and quiet my soul and I know that because I have already endorsed it to God, he will do the picking.

My agents would always quiz me about my personal life, multiply that by 27 agents and 4 officers and multiply again by 4 because I have different classes every week. So no matter how much I want to avoid the topic, I need to face and deal with it. Good thing is that it is an opportunity for me to share my faith that one day, not very long, I will meet this man God has assigned to me. I don’t need a lot of admirers. I am willing to wait for just one man that God has assigned.

I don’t pay attention to flirtatious acts common in any work environment specially in a call center or I may have trained my heart already to see them as God sees them so no matter how attractive and charming they maybe, I know already what I want. This week, I discovered that one of the supervisors I nested was my classmate back in kindergarten and she has two kids and a family already. While I, unattached, not dating exclusively and happily single for 5 years is ardently seeking for God’s will and fiercely guarding my heart from posers.

Too many people live for the future

And yet fail to live in the NOW

I enjoy life’s every season

Believing each moment as God’s will for me

I never stop loving

I never stop caring

I may be hurt like Jesus did

But every time that I get up

There is more love that I can give

Something more than I can share

For life is not about me alone

And life is not about what makes me happy

It certainly is not what I have already done

But life is about how many lives I have touched

Yes Lord, I am tired of what has been going on

But there is a reason for holding on

This brokenness is just for a season

I won’t let this thing loose my passion

For you are the lover of my soul

O God you never let me go

You have been there for me all the time

I trust in your perfect time

Crunch time at work, Marco's love story, nesting week again...

2007-04-30T18:30:00.000+08:00

I’m getting crunched at worked yet again. I have been working
sixteen hours for two weeks.

I’m unable to relax and I can’t afford to be lax since I am
mentoring veteran agents and supervisors as well. God has been gracious to give
me strength. My team always tops the nesting class for two weeks now. Two more
weeks and two more classes and I am free.

Creating poems is my only downtime which usually happens
when I’m able to sit alone in my station after 16 hours. The first 8 hours I am
floor walking, too much that when someone touches me they get electrocuted
because of the static I’ve developed from walking the carpet.

But it was all worth it. Seeing my last two classes top the
class and not only that, but the bond and relationships we have developed with
them and the supervisors proved to be all God’s work.

We honored each other as usual at the end of the week during
graduation and I saw how that activity melted all their hearts and even my
mentors. This is my reward, to see all of them appreciate each other and honor
one another. For me this is heaven on earth, when there is respect and good
relationships.

Two more weeks Lord and I really pray for supernatural grace
and strength for me and my mentors.

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My galle set of
friends (four of us actually)- decided to fast for our future spouses and I
have received some revelation just today. Honestly, I don’t think its good news
for me but at least it was revealed to me. Prior to that, we went to Bagaberde
Roxas to watch Jam’s group (Wiseguys) one of three last performances after 14
years of being together. I enjoyed the OPM songs and their first single, “The
First Time”. The song sounds familiar and quite sentimental that it caught my
attention.

We didn’t stay for the second set to watch Freestyle. It’s
the same Beyonce Knowles song I’ve been hearing on the airwaves. Besides, it
was the first time, Elline, JC, Myla and I can really spend time and pray for
more important things – our future partners.

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Just today, my brothers, my mom and I dined and met my
youngest brother’s fiancée. They met in Spain
where my brother stayed for two months. Even before meeting her, I already had
peace because I know my brother wouldn’t decide on something he didn’t prayed
over and over. My youngest brother Marco I should say is the sweetest among my
brothers. He’s affectionate and can relate to anyone. The last thing in our
mind is for him to be the first to get married. But hearing their love story
and God’s hands was just so inspiring.

You really can’t put God in a box. God moves in mysterious
and unconventional ways. He is wise and does things outside our expectations.
Jenny is a nurse in Spain.
She is 5 years older than Marco and she has kept herself pure and devoted to
God at 34 years old. I’m proud of the fact that Marco chose a virtuous woman.
If you know all my brothers, Marco is the chick boy amongst them. He is sweet,
charming, smart and loveable that is why a lot of attractive girls like him.
But God bridged their distance. Even if Marco has met a lot of women whenever
he travels, (Myanmar Afghanistan, Singapore,
Dubai, Bangkok,
France and Spain)
yet he only felt marriage for this woman. They never touched nor were in a relationship;
they just saw each other and have become friends for two months. Marco only realized that the girl is for him
when he returned home this year. He started the pursuit and only realized
lately that God wants him to take it to a different level. God was working in
the heart of the girl too because she has dreamt of Marco as her husband before
Marco left for Spain
but she kept it to herself. She waited for the right time for Marco to realize
how much he misses her.

Anyways, so goes their love story and no one would ever
think it would happen this way. What is funny is that she is Ilocano and
totally opposite of his usual physical preference. I kidded Marco and reminded
him of how he made fun of my ex fiancée who is also Ilocano. Now, he is getting
a dose of his own medicine.

This is really a big event for our family because we have
been praying for our future partners up until this time. All 5 of us are very
much still single and we want God’s best for us. This is a big breakthrough for all of us and finally
my mom would stop prodding me to get married at least for a season because she would
enjoy this new phase and new change.

We prayed for the two of them to be blessed after which, my
mom and I prayed once again for my heart and for my own turn.

my poems

2007-04-27T23:57:00.001+08:00

I love writing poems so I decided to publish them at poemhunter.com. Checking on google I found out that one of my work was used and posted on somebody else's blog. To my surprise, it is for 50 years old and above group site. I am just encouraged to see all the comments posted after the poem.

My poem was declared poem of the day

Check it out: http://community.eons.com/groups/topic/91763-POEM-OF-THE-DAY-

Nesting, haggardness, affections and inspiration

2007-04-21T22:32:00.000+08:00

My first stint of nesting or transitioning of new agents is done. The assignment came as a surprise because another supervisor is supposed to handle the 21 new people from another account. It was presented to me just 2 days prior my rest day and after that is the start of the nesting class. I had selected my mentors and at the last minute, as in a twist of fate, they were interchanged to someone I haven’t met. The mentor I picked originally was assigned to another team. I was so nervous to make things right and to perform since I only have one week to hit the sales conversion target and get my team to do it. I flourish in building relationships so I love being in a team where I have a month or so to develop. But I was given 21 people to develop and meet the sales target in a week. The environment is competitive because my counterpart is another class handled by a vet supervisor who has been assigned to such task since the account has pioneered. Not only that, I was given the challenge to beat the existing sales record of another center.

After 5 days of going through the nesting period, planning with my mentors, floor walking for 8 hours without taking any break or lunch, brainstorming with my mentors and motivating my entire team, cheering the team and shouting the conversion every hour, staying in the office from 3AM to 7PM and even 9PM to finish my admin tasks and basically prepare for the next day, I ended up tired, empty and sick. I have been sick since the first day so I medicated myself with two paracetamol tablets whenever I start my shift and when I go to sleep.

The outcome? Oh yeah, I myself cannot believe it, we not only hit the target on a daily basis but we beat the record. I received a lot of commendation and kudos for my agents on a daily basis. The achievement is marked though it was my first time. Honestly, because my body is too tired, the achievement hasn’t sink in yet because I kept hoping that it’s my last nesting team and I want to have a regular team of my own and not just training.

What I can’t believe was that earlier, the last day of our nesting, during their graduation, I was touched by the agent’s comments and gratitude. There were relationships that were built and it felt like we were together for months.

It felt so good that even if I wanted to collapse, I wanted them to show my appreciation and finish the day so I can sleep. After thanking all my mentors and prepping them up for the next nesting team the following week, I can’t help but wish this is the last because I am really so wasted. I will be given 27 people next week and I have my own record to beat.

What carried me through all these? Thank God for his daily strengthening and encouragement for me to be STILL and see his deliverance. I can’t imagine that I was the supervisor of the winning team and to think my mentors were new as well to this set up.

I learned that God has a purpose for everything and a reason why I was placed there- I love people and building them up! So even if I’m overstretched, God’s grace carries me through daily.

Seven hours after my shift, I am still awake although physically I can’t even talk because I’m feverish. Yet, my mind is so full of gratitude and amazement how God nailed it for me. I was even disappointed by a lot of people, even the person that I cared for, and another person I respected. Good thing that God has carried me through all these.

I’m excited in the next coming weeks after next week’s nesting as I will be assigned a team entirely from another account. I love and welcome changes. I know that my contacts and relationships will again multiply as our account continues to grow. And yet, I still long to spend time with this friend who has been withholding the gift of friendship from me. Even when I have tried many times to reach out, the results turn out to be awkward.

At this state, I am still being STILL before God because if not, I will just get frustrated, hopeless and negative. Instead, I remain inspired by the fact that God works everything for my good and that I will just welcome whatever God will grant me. My agents, my affections for this person, my love for my job and my family, my ministry, my friends and most of all GOD himself is enough reason for me to live my life to the full!

It’s true that if you were given a gift, don’t hold on it so much or you will struggle when it is taken from you. For now, the gift is there for a display and no matter how much I long to be with the person and enjoy the friendship, the timing is still not right. But I have big hopes and I am praying that we will have that time together.

I have learned to leave everything to God and enjoy every second of my life. Now I still see beautiful things, I see a better picture of what is to come. And I see my friend as part of that picture.

I have discovered that through tough times, affections for someone is one of the greatest encouragement to comfort you and give you a full doze of inspiration to go on.

Oh yeah, what is life if you are not inspired. And I am.

Half-hearted

2007-04-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

Finally! Adjeng's video is available with you tube! This is all about a love not expressed in full that makes a woman feel insecure. The WINK band is one of the very few bands who actually write their own song. Their songs normally reminds me of the eighties and early nineties when the songs about love where so sweet and innocent. I miss those Raymond Lauchengco songs like REALITY, etc... Anyways, here goes my cell matey's new video.

Here's one of the songs I enjoyed during the WINK's lauch at Hard Rock, a song from Wilson Phillips. Enjoy! And to Adjeng...continue to live your dream and your purpose. Here's to more videos and hit songs that really goes to people's heart.

Let's talk about half-heartedness. How many times have I heard that, "a job worth doing is worth doing well". You just don't walk through life to get by but you live with a purpose, a passion. Meaning, I'd rather not do something than do it with no passion. No wonder God hates lukewarm people.

Revelation 3:16
So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

I have instilled in myself a long time ago and until now that I want to be a person with passion. It's all about doing everything with excellence and constantly pushing myself to do something with my whole heart, be it my work, my ministry, my friendships, my relationships, my writing etc. Or, if I cannot commit myself with the same passion, I'd rather stay away because I know I will overstretch myself to be over involved. Passion is an emotion created by God so we can use it to show love. When we love God, we love Him with every fiber of our being. I believe that a person's passion would show in what he does. If they are just coasting and not pursuing anything, then I tend to either challenge or inspire them to discover it from God.

I guess, I know the feeling. Like when you know that you want something but you pretend to just coast and wait there because you are either taking things for granted or you don't really want it bad enough. Same is true with God's desire for us to passionately, wholeheartedly love him.

The essence of a man (or a woman) is the object of his affection, what drives him, what motivates him, what moves him, what he fears. What greater cause and pursuit is there, than the pursuit of God.

What's in a Call Center?

2007-04-15T10:16:00.000+08:00

Being in this business for five years, friends ask me why I have so much grace to stay up late and work graveyard shifts and in a Call Center environment. My answer? I am planted! Yeah, I have never felt so smack right at the center of God’s will. I mean, I flourish here in terms of leadership and most of all- I am able to speak in the lives of my agents. And yes- I fell in love with them. I love books, I love writing but my greatest passion is spending time and sharing my thoughts to people. After shift we would hang out, I would talk about my books, about my love for God, about life, about their concerns and it all turns out to be some sort of a cell group. Just last week, most of my agents are now part of my cell group and they are just too happy to have an avenue where they can pour out their souls. Anyways, the reason why a lot of them go to bars and have a drinking session after their work is because they lack these avenues where someone can hear them out and pour out what they think life is.

I find myself at times praying for them whenever we have one on one coaching sessions. And God has placed me in a position where I can just speak life to them and love them. These people are hungry for attention, affirmation, direction and yes they too need God! And I am just too happy to be there for them. I have handled eight teams in a year and this has exposed me to different agents, supervisors and managers who are all wounded. But they don’t have time to deal with it because they need to sleep and wake up for the next day’s work. There are so many of them out there and they have become my friends, my companions, and my small group.

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care”. They know too much and some of them were doctors, nurses, part time law students, future pilot, and animator. From all walks of life I meet them but they just need one thing- ACCEPTANCE from God. They are brilliant people who are non-conformists. Since we are in a travel account, most of them worked in the airlines and travel industry. Most of them have been to different places. Some of them will go to different places after their stint in the call center. I may not see them again so I grab every season that they are in my team.

I celebrate each moment, which sometimes takes 3 months. I have an agent who’s in Dubai Emirates now but we were together for 8 months and I have shown her that life is not bad as she think it is. Life is good if you have God. My role is to be God’s lighthouse and is content in providing just enough light for the travelers to reach their point of destination. As a lighthouse, I am planted here for now. I am flourishing. I love the people and it’s no surprise for me why in the heart of God, he loves men and is delighted to see each person realize their full potential and their destiny if they have the right relationship with him. I am seeing God’s heart everyday when I look in their eyes.

Tulak ng Bibig

2007-04-03T20:36:00.000+08:00

Heard her sing at BAGABERDE last Saturday and Julianne is really good! I mean yeah, no offense to Nyoy Volante, Sam Milby, Rica P, Wiseguys and the other artists who performed that night but this girl is beaming with talent. I must have heard this song over and over in my place that I didn't know she was part of the concert my brother produced last year. I thought then that this song would really make it big. Anyways, aside from the fact that I have been going out with single friends again for a month now on a regular basis, that was special not only because it is a benefit concert for Kyrgyzstan peepz, but I remember the songs of Julianne and Richard Poon who rendered a heart warming song by Eric Benet's - The Last Time which is now the official home site welcome audio on my home page. I cried when Richard sang it! Another song I love is this song by Julianne. Isn't it fabulous? I love these two songs! Love it! Love it!

And this is Love.......

2007-04-02T20:06:00.001+08:00

And this is LOVE
Not that I love you
But you have loved me

Here I am looking everywhere,
toiling for some passing attention,
laboring for mere acceptance,
wanting more of what the world claims as happiness
and I thought that it would complete me

Until I saw how much you love me
then I know that nothing compares
to your GREAT love.

You thought of me all the time,
withheld nothing back
because you know that it is for my good
you gave it ALL up for me
and considered yourself nothing
just so you can see me live and bloom

You have loved me before I ever saw you
even before I have ever recognize you
You have pursued me and wooed me
with all you heart, soul, mind and strength.

Ahhhh! I have finally found someone
who will love me for who I am
Yes this is LOVE, you thought of me first!

I am so amazed why you gave up your life
to prove the greatness of your love
and no one has done this for me,
No man will die for me

Yes this is LOVE, and that is not because I have already recognized it
But because you believed in me
That at the right time, I would also say “I love you”
And that we will both be together for all eternity

Your eyes speak volumes of what you feel for me
Your hands was all willing to carry that cross
Your body has given up many times and yet
you finished your purpose and never complained

Oh yes you love me
And at the cross I bow my knee
For there is no greater love than what you have shown

I maybe the pen

2007-03-29T21:05:00.000+08:00

I’m still wondering until now

what is your purpose

I’m searching for answers why

an unconventional chap like you

would make me question

what is in my heart

You are an unsolved puzzle

A mystery I tried to unravel

But your peculiarity keeps me attracted

more and more to you

Every awkward move and smile

makes me beam

and keeps me inspired

What a lovely creation

so different from the rest

and yet so distinctly great

I have a purpose to inspire you

to bring out the best in you

Isn’t that the usual thing I do?

But deep inside you there is more

that I would like to explore

This is unfamiliar ground for me

but somehow I am willing

because for some reason I am guided

He is still leading me to you

and for this season

I will yield, yet I will wait

For now no matter how quizzed

I appreciate the spontaneity

How things are being led to another

Yet I will only let one person write

My greatest love story

His hand is that of THE master poet

I dare not change his plot

Yet I know that with your brilliance

ours would work like a gun and a bullet

one will only powerfully work with the other

Only together can we accomplish that purpose

Or maybe you are just a season

flying by, so I can do what I do best

To inspire you to come to Him

ever so closely

I am still thankful if that is the case

because I made myself to be the pen

useful for the poet to write his masterpiece

I leave it to my writer, I will not object

Reese Moment

2007-03-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Sunday, I had a Reese moment. I’m sure most of you are familiar with this very common peanut chocolate bar. My friend and I met in galleria so I can hear the Word and also relax my mind and my soul with God’s Word. She was talking about how she longed for this candy bar two days back. That for some reason, even if this chocolate bar was never her favorite she craved for it. She thought about it night and day because her mouth waters whenever she opens her refrigerator and sees the orange candy wrapper opposite the white background of her refrigerator. She even got up one night and wonder who owns it because she wants to get a bite if it. Finally, her dorm mate offered it to her and she got her most desired piece after two days of longing. Her dorm mate pitied her that they offered to buy her packs of Reese if she still craves for it. Well, she doesn’t need to go into that because after her bite, yes she was satisfied but it was less than extraordinary. It was so ordinary that she was disappointed how it tasted and resolved to herself that Reese was really not her favorite chocolate.

As she was telling the story, God used her to open my spiritual eyes over some things I was struggling and arguing with God about. It is about something that I was trying to bargain with God. The world would offer a lot of false and fancy package that it’s promising you a better option if you try it. Yeah, why not try this relationship, this idea, this way. At first, I was really bargaining my standards to God as if I could win. Guess what? God made me realize that what I desire is really not what I want in the first place. God knows me better than I know myself that if I insist on what I want and what I thought is ok since the world dictates that it is alright, then I would really not enjoy that piece of chocolate.

Instead God promises us that if He himself did not spare his own Son, how much more along with him graciously give me ALL things! The best of things! The best relationship! The best partner! Yes, He did not with hold and so, of course, as I follow God, I am not going to be tight fisted and keep all these feelings to myself. I am surrendering all of these to him. That was my Reese moment.

The world would say, I have all the right to be happy and I should not be restraining myself from being happy. But I know that if I wait just long enough, the best will come. Agh! The pain of waiting but it will all be worth it because I want to eat the best of the land.

True enough, after the service, I met a friend and I saw a sign. God showed me a lot of signs that night that he used people as illustration to reassure me that my waiting will soon be all over.

I just need to always see God’s intentions of giving me nothing but the best. I love this Reese moment. It made me realize that not all that glitters is gold. Not all people have good intentions. Not all open doors are God’s open doors. Not all opportunities would guarantee what I have been waiting for so long.

It’s worth the wait!

My Assignment Requires Seasons of Waiting

2007-03-25T17:22:00.000+08:00

I love books! I just finished Mike Murdock's Assignment Volume One. I have been cherishing it morsel by morsel because I am rediscovering myself each time. The greatest lesson I want to carry with me is all about Waiting and the assignment being Geographical.

Yes - My Assignment Requires Seasons of Waiting!

I will summarize the major points of Mike on this entry and as I write them down, it never fails to remind me over and over the value of waiting. I am still waiting for God's promises to come into my life. I am waiting and I know that it is not in vain because

here are my rewards in waiting....

1. Waiting reveals patience (Hebrews 11:1)

2. Waiting is not wasted time (James 1:4)

3. Waiting guarantees favorable results (Lamentations 3:25, 26)

4. Waiting is learning time (Psalm 144:1)

- Flesh reacts on waiting because it wants action. But waiting forces the flesh to die.

5. Waiting will reveal the true motives and intentions of those around you

- Wise men never rely on intuition but on tests

- The young trust, the wise test

6. Waiting reveals that you trust God but are willing to test men (Psalm 20:7)

-waiting forces truth to emerge

7. Waiting enables you to gather accurate and untainted information

- The quality of your information determines the quality of your decisions. The quality of your decisions determines the quality of your life.

8. Waiting brings you truth

9. More waiting brings you more truth

10. Enough waiting brings enough truth

11. Waiting provides God time to address your problem miraculously

-wait for God’s timing

-waiting allows God to take the lead

12. Waiting increases strength (Isaiah 40: 29-31)

13. Waiting is a weapon Satan dreads to discover (2 Corinthians 2:11)

The assignment is Geographical

“Where you are determines the flow of favor in your life”. Favor is worth a thousand days of labor. Go where you are celebrated instead of where you are tolerated -> seek to be where God really wants you. When you are with the right people, the best comes out of you!

I know it is easier said than done but I know that God will reward our confidence and our hope because He is a God who never lies. He is not like a man who promises and yet doesn't fulfill. So whatever, no matter how many, no matter how great, no matter where and no matter when, God is able to exceedingly, abundantly, far above all we can ever ask or think honor his words and his promises.

I just need to recognize first and foremost my ASSIGNMENT.

How I met the Lover of my Soul

2007-03-23T12:19:00.000+08:00

Sixteen years ago, I see life as a huge play act. Everyone has their own role and I have a big role to play because I always find myself at the center of the play. I was afraid to commit a mistake because I feel like I will ruin the play. I was not an addict, I have no family problems, in fact my parents and siblings are the most loving creatures on earth. But back then, I was LONELY. At 15 years old, I was insecure like most teenage girls are. I was at the top of my class, I have different admirers and people seem to like me everywhere I go. I would organize parties as a student council head and want to see my friends and my school having fun. But at the end of the day, inside my room, I would cry. I still remember the very words I asked God, “I want to be happy”. At that time, God must have heard my sincere though brief prayer.

The camp which ran for 5 days washed my selfishness, my thoughts about life. I stopped cursing for 5 days and after the camp, going back to campus, I was a different person and my friends thought something happened to me during the summer.

I met my lover, I met Jesus. I never felt so secure, loved, wanted, needed, and protected. Everyday, I would sing songs of love to Him. For some people, meeting God in a personal way for the first time means meeting their father, their friend, their provider. But for me, I met the lover of my soul.

That mode carried me through all temptations in high school and college. God is wise to reveal himself to me that way so I can be preserved all throughout until now.

Sometimes I would pause and wonder how God loves us so much to really pursue us just so we can notice him. We were caught up with all wrong things in life that we forget we just need wisdom from his word so we can go on.

I love wisdom, I love listening and hearing out people’s thoughts and see them in the light of God’s Word. While in Baguio, I have this thought on what separates Wise from the Fools while reading Proverbs 1……

Wise are not simpletons – yet so many people delight in simplicity and what they don’t know is that it is a KILLER. Once you think like an average Joe then you don’t let God’s wisdom influence your thinking. God’s Word sets you apart from the rest and will give you great insight that no one else can give you.
Wise responds to rebuke well – the key word is RESPOND and not REACT. People naturally react to a correction that they close their ears to the possibility of gaining from it. But if you know God’s word, you know that wise men respond to correction well so you can grow wiser.
Wise choose to fear the Lord and love knowledge – I have met so many wise people and they really search God. They are the most talented, gifted and yet introspective artist, business people I have met. What is common with these people is their recognition of their need for God. To fear the Lord and to love knowledge shows wisdom that is not revealed by man but personally revealed by God to anyone who would seek Him.
Wise are neither wayward nor complacent and take warnings from God to heart – people who ignore God’s reminders and live a complacent life in the long run hurt and destroy themselves. They fail to see to long-term end result. Wise people ask God for guidance and listens to godly advice.
Wise people are not rattled by the future – this is a great encouragement because this truth reminds me that it is wise to trust God. That wisdom teaches you not to panic but to be still before God... God is the author and finisher of our faith. God is our all and be all. At the end of our life, if you have God in your heart, you know that He will still hold your life and it is pointless to fear the future. At the end of your life- God is there.

I'LL Be There For You!

2007-03-09T20:47:00.000+08:00

A Woman of Noble Character…………….

2007-03-05T19:44:00.000+08:00

Here are some of my thoughts on Proverbs 31 about the Woman of Noble Character.....

Speaks up on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves

V.8-9

8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves;
ensure justice for those being crushed.
9 Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless,
and see that they get justice

Is dependable, reliable

v.11

11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.

Brings good and not harm to her family/ household

v.12

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

Loves hard work

v. 13-17

13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchantâs ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the dayâs work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.

Is wise in handling money and makes sure she earns a profit

v.18

18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.

Is generous

v.20

20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.

Is always prepared

v.21-22

21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm[c] clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

Takes every opportunity to be productive. No idle moment.

v.23-24

23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.

Is strong, with dignity, unmoved by problems

v.25

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.

Is wise and instruction comes out of her mouth

v.26

26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

You are a leader!

2007-03-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

I was amazed how my friend Kiko has risen up and established KC in Baguio. If you are reading this my friend then just let me honor you this way. Kiko was discipled by my bro Jehu and he was an average guy back in fort. We used to hang out a lot 2 years back because of the same circle of friends. His cell leader Stuart and my cell leader then, Rose are VLI classmates. Back then, he hasn’t really taken the role of leadership because he is still kindda hesitant.

Looking at him , now in Baguio, after establishing four group leaders and teams for Kid’s Church, and taking the pattern of KC Fort to Baguio, he has done a marvelous job of stepping up to the need and rising up to the occasion.

He has raised young, vibrant leaders and looking at them and interacting with them is like speaking to the same people back in gale and fort. It’s the same genes, same spirit, same values- I am amazed!

I was telling Kiko hours before going back to Manila that “Discipleship is really the key”. Once you are discipled and have been exposed to greatness, you can go out into the world, outside your comfort zone and make a difference. How do you eat an elephant? You slice it part by part. How do you change the world? You start with one person at a time. Kiko has definitely multiplied himself and created leaders like him. I pray for more men like you bro! Likewise, I am blessed to be surrounded with great men of VCF.

Coming back from the Leader’s Circle meeting from Fort, the same truth is being pounded over and over. Leadership is a success if you are able to empower men and women to replicate themselves. And we have the power within us, the Holy Spirit. Looking at Ptr Steve and Ptr Joey and all the pastors and leaders in Fort VCF, my eyes are clearly opened as to how true leadership really works. It’s not all about taking the glory or putting the power and burden all in the hands of the leader but giving it back to the people.

I am inspired to be exposed to such good leadership because I know the attributes I will be looking for in my future husband. Also, I am consoled to the fact that if there are men such as these then there is hope for the world, for our nation.

Great leadership stoops down to make people great. Remembering Ptr Steve’s words, “Our job is to equip you and influence you to be the godly man and not to bring you close to us so you can be godly”.

How ironic that in the world, even in my own workplace, leaders and managers doesn’t recognize true leadership and potential because they are likely to notice first those who kiss ass. They are unable to judge once true character because they manage by perception. This is clearly a service breakdown and can breed a lot of abuse and discourage real loyalty. Good thing we are all serving God and not men if you are doing your job well and yet you are unrecognized. Proverbs says that if you are skillful in you work, you will not serve before obscure men but before kings, so keep up the diligence.

I love people and making a difference in their life. Maybe that is the reason why for 5 years now, I am still in the Call Center industry. I love speaking into the lives of other people, spending time with them, loving them and helping them out in their own challenges.

There is a study that says the most timid person can impact 10,000 people in their lifetime. That means, whether we like it or not, we are an influencer so for those who are hesitant leaders, it’s not an option because what you are just doing is modeling poor leadership because guess what? You are already influencing other people with your behavior.

This means, we all need to grasp the right vision and count our days right and see t o it that in our lifetime, we are positively contributing by leading people to God. By this, we are affecting generations and eternity.

Autumn Leaves

2007-02-27T19:10:00.000+08:00

I remember my dad with this song...he loves to sing this when he was still alive. My dad is the most romantic man I have ever seen. Even on his death bed, he would write notes to me and my sister saying, "I love you" before his last breath, and he would whisper those same words to my mom.

It's hard not to miss him.

My mom's stories until this very day cannot be equaled. He was a gentleman, a sentimentalist, a journalist, a brilliant poet, a scriptwriter, a director, a producer, a businessman, a singer, a comic. My best memory of him- He loved only my mom until the very end.

To you my daddy, this song I used to laugh at now sounds so meaningful to me. ..My dad has such good taste.

I love you daddy! I know you have been enjoying heaven, God and eternity for six years now but your memory is forever etched in my heart.

Can't Live A Day Without You

2007-02-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

Slow down for three minutes to read this.

It is so worth it.

What does Love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to

a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than

anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

____

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend

over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather

does it for her all the time, even when his hands

got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8

_____

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is

different. You just know that your name is safe in

their mouth."

Billy - age 4 (I love this one)

_____

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on

shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other"

Karl - age 5

_____

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most

of your French fries without making them give you any

of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6

___

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4 (How true)

_____

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and

she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure

the taste is OK."

Dan ny - age 7

_____

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get

tired of kissing, you still want to be together and

you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They

look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8

_____

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if

you stop opening presents and listen."

Bob by - age 7 (Wow!)

_____

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start

with a friend who you hate,"

Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

_____

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then

he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7

_____

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man

who are still friends even after they know each other

so well."

Tommy - age 6

_____

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of

chicken."

Elaine-age 5

_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and

still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7

_____

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after

you left him alone all day."

Mary Ann - age 4

_____

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me

all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new

ones."

Lauren - age 4

_____

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down

and little stars come out of you."

Karen - age 7 ( what an image)

_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she

doesn't think it's gross."

Mark - age 6

_____

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean

it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

People forget."

Jessica - age 8 ( I think we just assume people

know we love them )

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia

once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The

purpose of the contest was to find the most caring

child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door

neighbor was

an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the

old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the

neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped

him cry"

______

When there is nothing left but God that is when you

find out that God is all you need.

______

This song is my longest most favorite Christian song by AVALON. I used to sing and play it everyday. This never fails to make me cry.

This time I realized that more than my desire to be with God, God's desire to be with us is even far far greater. As you listen to the song, as passionate as it is, God's intense desire to be with us is even greater.

The next song after I CAN'T LIVE A DAY is my 2nd most favorite song by AVALON. The song I DON'T WANT TO GO speak volumes about making wise decisions everyday. This too is a must memorize and must take it to heart song

______

I CAN'T LIVE A DAY- Avalon

I could live life alone

And never fill the longings of my heart

The healing warmth of someone's arms

And I could live without dreams

And never know the thrill of what could be

With every star so far and out of reach

I could live without many things

And I could carry on, but...

CHORUS

I couldn't face my life tomorrow

Without Your hope in my heart I know

I can't live a day without You

Lord, there's no night and there's no morning

Without Your loving arms to hold me

You're the heartbeat of all I do

I can't live a day without You

I could travel the world

See all the wonders beautiful and new

They'd only make me think of You

And I could have all life offers

Riches that were far beyond compare

To grant my every wish without a care

Oh, I could do anything, oh yes

But if You weren't in it all...

I couldnt face my life tomorrow

Without your hope in my heart I know

I can't live a day without You

Lord, there's no night and there's no morning

Without Your loving arms to hold me

You're the heartbeat of all I do

I can't live a day without You

Oh, Jesus, I live because You live

You're like the air I breathe

Oh, Jesus, I have because You give

You're everything to me

I couldnt face my life tomorrow

Without your hope in my heart I know

I can't live a day without You

Lord, there's no night and there's no morning

Without Your loving arms to hold me

You're the heartbeat of all I do

I can't live a day without You

I couldnt face my life tomorrow

Without your hope in my heart I know

I can't live a day without You

Lord, there's no night and there's no morning

Without Your loving arms to hold me

You're the heartbeat of all I do

I can't live a day without You

______

I DON'T WANT TO GO - Avalon

You changed my world

When You came to me

You drove a passion

In my soul down deep

Lord, to follow You in everything

I don't want to go somewhere

If I know that You're not there

'Cause I know that me without You is a lie

And I don't want to walk that road

Be a million miles from home

'Cause my heart needs to be where You are

So I don't want to go

So come whatever

I'll stick with You

I'll walk, You'll lead me

Call me crazy or a fool

For forever I promise you that...

repeat chorus

Without Your touch

Without Your love

Filling me like an ocean

For Your grace is enough

Enough for me

To never want to go somewhere

If I know that You're not there

I'd rather dance with you

2007-02-25T18:08:00.000+08:00

Just Can't Say It - Yeng Constantino

2007-02-25T17:37:00.000+08:00

I wonder why some people just can't talk and say what they feel..... That's the first sin of Adam, he didn't speak up.

It's not that, I think you would know
I just don't feel all the things I do for you
Baby that's a clue that I am true
It's just unspoken but i mean it, yeah
But if you look into my eyes
You will see what's inside
I don't have to say it

All the things that you want to hear from me
And all the things that you want me to say
Baby say it

Well if you want to hear me say it
That I want you
I would say it a hundred times a day
'Til your heart will drown away
Just tell me, do I have to

It's not that i'm too shy to say
About the words that come out my way
All the tears that you shed
I guess I have to pay for
If I can only see

All the things that you want to hear from me

And all the things that you want me to say

Baby say it

Well if you want to hear me say it
That I want you, I need you, I love you
A hundred times a day (I would say it)
'Til your heart will drown away (I would say it)
Just tell me (I want to say it, Yes I'm gonna say it)
Do I have to (I will say it)

Off to Baguio.....

2007-02-22T08:08:00.000+08:00

I'm planning on spending next week to Baguio. It's my rest day and my birthday at the same time. I've tried celebrating my birthday with family only, special friends only, experienced a surprise bday (too many times that I'm not surprised anymore). Next week, I want to get out of the city and enjoy my books in tranquil, pine smelling, fresh air of Baguio. I may tag along some friends but not too many or it'll defeat the purpose of being alone. Just as much as I love being with people, my friends, my agents, supes, I also delight being alone to read my books!

Just in case you haven't noticed, I have my multiply running like a well-oiled machine like my blogger account. I have figured out a way to link the two. Blogger which has been loyal to me since 2003 is good for keeping my original posts while multiply is interactive.

If I choose not to share something to the world, there goes blogger and if I want to share something then it is with multiply.

I am now celebrating my rest days by going out and spending time with friends or if not, my most loyal companion-a good book and God. I can't wait to go to Baguio specially that the weather has turned nasty hot yesterday which is a sign that summer is just around the corner.

Baguio is the next best thing after sailing. It is cheaper and I can see the sunset and sunrise still. Thank God I don't have to view sunrise in front of our Mandaluyong porch that day. The pollution is killing the mystery of the dawn.

Yeah, I have the habit of waking up at 3AM ever since, and I watch the sun rise. No wonder it's a breeze for me to wake up since my shift started 5AM. But next week- I will see the sun rise in Baguio and just capture those moments and give my lungs a break.

It'll be a beautiful, meaningful celebration....

I can be this encourager.....

2007-02-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

Saw this from my youngest bro marco's blog and it moved me. That if I could encourage people with what I have and share what I can give them such as a simple smile, an encouragement- a hug- then this world would be a better place because I have made a difference to them.

Funny that we don't know how the simplicity of life and viewing ourselves as a gift to others has been neglected.

But ey, as Mike Murdock has been laboring about this on his book called "The Assignment", where he explains that everything God has a created is an answer to something, to someone.

You are an answer to someone's needs! You just need to merely recognize your assignment.

I want a leader

2007-02-20T23:37:00.000+08:00

“If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.

In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.

A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. “ – I Timothy 3

The entire chapter of Timothy 3 describes what a leader should be. Although scholars would apply this towards a church leader, I want to use it to describe the man I want and he has to be a leader- not necessarily in the full time but has all of these character traits.

I realized lately that not all men are actually gentlemen. Not all men are respectable. In fact, God wants me to not settle for second best that I realized I really need a leader who can lead me closer to God’s purpose for my life.

God has protected me again from men who fall short of his standards. I am , once more, rather, all the more am I starting to appreciate Christian men. Men who are really living God’s Word. It is really different when men show they love God because they are taking their role as leaders. I have resolved to not look anywhere else and to not give my heart away because it is taken captive by God already until the right time when I'm given away to my one and only- future husband.

My husband will be so blessed because I have preserved my heart, my body, and my emotions for him alone. I will let God do the picking because He knows me better than I know myself.

I am too excited because it finally made sense why I am attracted to leaders, that is because- God has called men to follow him and take their role as leaders in the society, in their families and love their wives. Not to Lord over them but to treat them with love and respect in the same way God loves and respect the church-us his children.

I can’t take a man as my partner if he has not risen up to this level yet because God will be using me to do great things and my husband should be able to lead me, otherwise I may not follow.

This day he made this much clearer to me while counseling a separated friend. This day while I was refreshing someone, I myself was refreshed.

I was desiring a pearl but all the while God was waiting for me to give it up so He could hand me the diamond. I am reday to take the diamond because I am giving up the pearl.

I want the Pearl but God will give me the Diamond- Wait for the Best!

2007-02-15T02:38:00.000+08:00

reposting from 2004.....

Lately I am faced with different issues of people almost picking the second best. It's true that the enemy of BEST is GOOD. Too many times we would think that something is good enough for us but God has planned what is best and that is what I want. Far be it from me to neither choose for myself again nor orchestrate events on my own. I want God to pen my love story. "The right person at the wrong time is the wrong person just as much as the wrong person at the right time is the wrong person".

Here's a famous letter about waiting............

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to His child, the Lord says: "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me; with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me to have an intensely personal relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found. Only then will you be capable of the most perfect relationship that I have planned for you. "I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing… one that you cannot imagine (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. "You just keep watching Me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you. Just waiting-that's all.” Don’t be anxious. Don't worry.

Don't look around at all the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at all the things you think you want. Just keep looking up to Me.” And then, when I know you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far wonderful than any you would dream of.

You see, I'm working at this moment to have you both ready at the same time. Until you are satisfied exclusively with Me, and the life I've given you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me.” Dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with myself. "

"Know that I love you utterly. Be satisfied in Me."

-Author Unknown

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

2007-02-15T02:16:00.000+08:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

A new heart!

2007-02-13T17:23:00.000+08:00

My mom was just released from Makati Med after a successful bypass operation. Five vessels were replaced and re-directed to get her heart pumping again. At 63, she is full of spirit, life and energy. A week of sleeping in the hospital couch made me sick that I dreamt of sleeping back at home everyday. I missed eating at the dinner table with my mom and just go home to tell her my story for the day.

Now that it’s all over, her heart is as good as new and even better than mine. She would always tease me to get married so that she can follow after me. Although widowed for almost five years, my mom lived her life to the full and still very much in love with my dad. She would tell me that her new heart is a physical operation but during the process the experience in the hospital was God’s act of actually rehabilitating my heart.

I must have read three good books, I guess four while in the hospital: 101 on dating; Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders; Assignment; and When God Write Your Love story. I’m finished with the first two and I’m on my way to finishing the last two which I alternate when I do get tired of one chapter.

Reading relaxes my mind and enables me to share with the great minds of our time not to say it sanctifies my soul. I am being prepared like Esther to meet my king. I believe that God is also preparing the man. Lately, I have met several boys. I call them boys because they are not able to assert yet what they want and still live in the world of toys, make-believe and insecurities. I mean, what do you call a guy who you know likes you but resorts to mask what they feel to project their masculinity. Matter of fact how selfish and free loader is that?

My brother is encouraging me to read Jordan’s blog on what separates boys from men and he sum it up in one word: Men speak up what they want while boys throw tantrums and refuse to speak up. Someone wise explained to me that a person with high IQ is able to articulate his thoughts well while low IQ express themselves through tantrums or any form of physical action. That is criminals who are locked up in cells end up in fist fights because there is no other way they can express their frustration or assert what they want.

Now, I would rather have my man approach me and tell me he wants me.

Women, no matter how ready, vulnerable and likes the guy cannot just approach men and say they want to know the guy better (Although many times I just want to do that and instead wait on God for something to happen) . For me if they do this too often, they are setting up the guy to be dependent on them to make future decisions and worse- until they get married, the woman may call the shots. I know there are ways to help out the guys but I cannot just help him all the time. I am not built that way.

It’s really just fair that a woman must not give her heart away unless the man lays down his intentions to be with her. I have experienced agents and friends who would tell me I am too idealistic, or straight. But ey, what do you expect from a thirty year old-virgin. Yet in this age, not too many women have kept their heart and soul whole. I must have fallen in love twice but never yet to that point where I would abandon all. I am still waiting for that time. And I know that time will come.

I think I have a new heart too. God is giving me the grace to go on with life and not let my longing slay my appetite for living. Being single can somehow be frustrating if the one you like is not looking in the same direction.

Women, being more sensitive than men also go through a great deal of vulnerability and I salute women who just lay their cards on the line so that men won’t get intimidated.

I have mellowed much and only God knows why men are still intimidated with me. I just treat it as the hedge of God’s protection to filter men who are too weak to take on my personality.

Meantime, I am still doing what a responsible single person should do, living unselfishly for others through loving the people God has assigned in my life and I just enjoy sharing my life to others who will celebrate me.

I can say I too have a new heart, because God continuously replenishes his love towards me. I can just sense that in my lifetime, I would write books about waiting and courtship. Meantime, while God is writing my love story it is normal that I share my love and be vulnerable to know men because God has a purpose why they come in my life. I want to live that purpose and enjoy God’s will for now.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I must have watched six movies for three weeks in a row: DeJaVu, Apocalypto, Stranger than Fiction, Holiday, Night at the Museum and History Boys. I was never a movie buff but spending time with my agents and friends is treat I can never pass Just today, I was about to watch another movie in Rockwell, good thing my mom and bro just decided to dine at Burgoo. I can’t wait to watch another movie this Thursday with my team. Movies are great refreshments specially to highly toxic and stressful workers like me. I must have worked for 12 straight hours everyday or more and movies are like shot glasses that take me away to a different level of highness. I just wish I can share it with the one I love. Very soon I will.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Special thanks to those who have donated their blood to my mom- Blue, Mark, Alfred and those who tried but were declined – Chedi, Jomi, Carlo, Mike, Mae, to those whose generous hearts gave their financial gift to help us meet the 700, 000 plus bill, to Peoplesupport who gave me the 500,000 benefit, to all people who prayed and anonymously gave., to those who visited my mom and my family – VCF KC, Donita Rose, Mike, Alfred, Jomi, John, Aileen, Paolo, Carlo, PS Peepz, Ecom Batch 1- Blue, Tony, Ryan, Mae, Cathy, Joy, Avic, Illyn.; to those who sent their fruits and flowers- VCF Fort, Arnold Clavio and the Emergency crew for taking the video of my mom’s operation; to all the nurses and doctors who took care of my mom. Most of all, thank you to my wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus who gave my mom a new heart. Lord, you are my Valentine.

Freeloaders, Renters and Buyers

2007-02-09T19:18:00.000+08:00

I have just finished reading this book called Freeloaders, Renters and Buyers by Willard F. Harley Jr. It is a must read that I have decided my husband to be should have read it and studied it aside from Wild at Heart.My oldest brother was reading it and it was passed on to my next brother so I am quite intrigued by it. Our family aside from being music lovers love to read books. I was able to catch this book lying around the hospital room of my mom and I can't put it down.The book explains the three levels of care where Freeloaders is at the bottom. relationships between freeloaders tend to die quickly because the two people avoid conflict, resist change and often aren't willing to commit care to each other. Renters on the other hand, are okay for a while because they do whatever they can to make each other happy. But then they run into problems when their short-sighted, self-sacrificing approach to problem solving breeds resentment and abuse. Buyers have relationships that have staying power that is rooted in their commitment to permanent and exclusive care - the kind of care that keeps both partner's best interests in mind. Freeloaders think of unconditional love but they don't want to to give that kind of love. In fact they just want to take and would reason that, "he should love me for who I am" without any effort to change.

Reading this book I discovered why my two engagement of four years and then the next engagement of three years failed. I was a renter. I sacrificed too much or requires sacrifice which breeds resentment. I realized that buyers must enthusiastically agree on terms that will both arrive to a long term solution and not just short term solutions that usually takes some form of sacrifice.

I love this book because it helps me identifies if the person is a buyer, a renter or a freeloader. One doesn't have to be married or be in a relationship to know which type he is.

Amazingly, God opened my eyes over the role of men as leaders. lately I realized that the beauty of men lies in his leadership or how he plays his God-given role to lead while women exudes beauty through submission.

A man is irresistibly charming when he is able to lead a woman (not dominate him). I want a leader, a man that will lead me to God and play an irreplaceable role in his adventure.

you will find your way to me

2007-01-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

If love would find a way then you have in my dreams
you were unassuming yet brilliant you were loving yet strong
i hardly had time to talk since I was enjoying my time with you
In the middle of all judging eyes, we were inseparable
For awhile i didn't notice the rest of the world
You had a grasp that tells me I'm safe
your firm embrace protects me from any questioning eyes
your eyes were kind and yet were on fire

Awake from the marvelous sleep I know it is real
if it were not so then how come I remember your timeless soul
You were unconventional yet everyone knows you
You're famously adored I didn't thought i'd fit in

Your face looks familiar in many places
at the right time you will be revealed to me
I keep my eyes open watching where you will come from
since love will find a way then anywhere, I know i'll meet you
someday, very soon, could it be you now?
i know if it is love, you will find your way to me

It must be for inspiration

2007-01-24T18:18:00.000+08:00

It must be for inspiration that you created the heavens,
the earth, the sky, the sea

I look at the stars and I am contented that there is peace,
a calmness right into my soul

It must be for inspiration that you created man,
his heart, his soul, his spirit

I look at how he goes about his life and there is wonder,
how you have made us so wise

It must be for inspiration that you have brought people together,
they court, they join their lives, they grow old

I look at how they have fulfilled their dreams in the eyes of their kids,
it brings a special longing in my heart to have my dreams fulfilled too

It must be for inspiration that I met you at this time,
I was busy, was lonely, was caught up

I look at how God has allowed circumstances to turn,
after sometime there was spark that cannot be denied

It must be for inspiration that i have met you and you are such
a pleasant gift at the right time

I look at my busy days and you give me delight each day,
I am inspired, I'm happy, I am blessed

Looking at you, I don't know yet the purpose,
for now I'm thinking it must be for inspiration

I cannot

2007-01-20T21:26:00.002+08:00

I cannot tell how it all started

I cannot tell why your smile brings me warmth

I cannot be blind by your act of kindness

I cannot believe there is attraction inside

I cannot withhold giving out my love and affection when I know it is in my power to act

I cannot control if I have this fondness growing deep inside

I cannot go against my own standards

I cannot speak lies when I know the truth inside

I cannot be swayed by what I see on the outside

I cannot allow my heart to just run wild

I cannot understand why it just cannot be

I cannot see it all but I have faith in love

I cannot explain why I’m tongue tied at times

I cannot deny we have so many things in common

I cannot believe why I’m drawn to you

I cannot assess what the future holds

I cannot simply close all my doors at this time

I cannot judge you based on the facts

I cannot be obvious, I cannot give in

I cannot also tell you I’m trusting Him to lead

I cannot also go on and be misled

I cannot let my feelings bring me counterfeit

I cannot settle for second best

I cannot let my heart deceive me

I cannot manipulate what God has intended

I cannot pursue, I can only wait

I cannot deny who I am destined for

I cannot risk what I can have, for ours that is empty

I cannot be in this predicament ever again

I cannot afford to give my heart away

I cannot have another chance if I make a mistake

I cannot, but I can still make things right, for now and forever

Captivating - a reflection of my roots

2007-01-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

I have mentioned earlier in one of my blog entries the 3 cores of a man’s heart which is: 1. a battle to fight, 2. an adventure to live and 3. A beauty to rescue and for women her cores are 1. To display beauty, 2. To be romanced and 3. To play an irreplaceable role in an adventure or to make an impact.

I want to relate it in the light of my roots- my mom and my dad. My dad is a recognized playboy by his peers. At the age of 32 he was still very much single until he met my mom, a 27 year old heartthrob and old fashioned virgin which is a jewel during that time. I cannot describe it well without being straight forward and down right blunt so pardon me. Daddy must have slept with God knows how many women before he settled with my mom. In all of them, he never said he loved them but he was attracted to them and he liked each and every one of them. Men can really be adventurous that if not channeled properly like my dad used to live his bachelorhood then women can fall prey as one of those adventures. But my dad had a beauty to rescue; my mom who was then engaged to a pure Chinese college sweetheart of 7 years never entertained any other suitors despite 10 other proposals from different men more successful than my dad who was just a budding businessman back then.

My dad took a chance and had this rationale, “if she will just be kind to me I will pursue her no matter what’. My mom is nice to everyone so my dad took the time to win my mom’s heart and after 6 months they got married, the 7 year old engagement with my mom’s Chinese were just memories. That is because my dad has a battle to fight, he saw my mom as the battle and the woman he will spend the rest of his life with. And so after 30 years of marriage and even on my dad’s deathbed, he would write notes of “I love you” to my mom, my sister and I. He never uttered those words to any woman but to my mom and to us.

I never saw nor heard my dad look for another woman while I was growing up even if my mom would have her not so loveable days. Looking back, my mom and I would blush how my dad would brush aside her moods and just pursue her.

My dad was kicked out of the house when he was 12 or 15 years old by his dad and heard no one say “I love you” to him. He practically raised himself and was a self-made man. For him those words are priceless, he was never careless to say those words without backing it up with an act of commitment. And he just gave those words to his one and only wife of 30 years – my mom. I am so proud of my dad how he acted like a real man.

Isn’t it very rare now for a man to speak of his affections and really mean it by backing it up with an act to commit. Most men would have very obvious and yet unspoken words of love. Well, if it's not unspoken then it’s really not meant and worth speaking of in the first place so leave those feelings at the door because it is not serious enough to bring to light the actual intentions.

Meanwhile, my mom never gave any hint nor initiated anything. In fact, she was trying to hide herself from my dad because she already has an outstanding relationship. My dad won’t back-out because he believes that if my mom’s bf really loved her then he should have not waited for 7 long years.

I want to honor my parents by writing them on my blog. Their love story was unveiled and witnessed right before my very eyes. And those portions when I wasn’t born yet, my mom would give me bits and pieces of stories and re-live it as if my dad was still alive.

They are my inspiration and example that if there is real love, the man would speak and the woman would accept wholeheartedly.

My mom played an irreplaceable role in my dad’s adventure by being the only woman in his life and by being our mother, raising us the godly way. Their partnership was ever present during my growing years. They would both pray for me and guide me when I had relationships at a very young age. I had two long engagements I had called off because I wasn’t ready. Until now at thirty, my dad’s advises keep ringing on my own ears. I want to find someone like my dad who is a man changed and reformed by love. That is why I believe love conquers all – because God is love and you cannot give love away if you have no revelation of who God is in your life. The essence of a man is seen on what he pursues and my dad stayed true to my mom because he sought after God. I have never seen a man get up and pray at 4am to just seek God in his word and sing love songs to him. My dad is my ideal in most ways and I am so blessed to have someone like him.

My mom grew even more beautiful in the presence of my loving dad because he would
Constantly assure her. And my dad had won a lot of battles in his life because of the beauty that is my mom who was always there for her. They were not perfect beings but they were perfect for each other.

All of us have our own perfect fit if we allow God’s perfect choice to reveal itself in Hs perfect time.

talents inC Arts and Media Summit

2007-01-18T06:49:00.000+08:00

TAKE HOLD OF EVERY MOMENT

2007-01-17T07:38:00.000+08:00

I surprised my long time friend Carmina last Sunday with bouquet of flowers and dinner. It is because her birthday always falls on church fasting week and I want to make it extra special after fast so she can remember it. No woman can resist a nice bouquet of flowers, with ribbons, you know the works.

Just as I love flowers, I love packages and boxes of different colors. Just like life has its own way of giving me surprises for me to unveil.

I am in the middle of something new. Though I miss my old team terribly, I really enjoyed them. I'm a firm believer of living the now believing it is God's Will for you so I recognize and love what I have at present. The worst is when I love and gets attached to it so much it is hard to move on.

Yet I still embrace my new team now and love them. SO everyday it is a matter or enjoying and living each moment to the full and by the end of the day, all I have are good memories.

Rose wrote me this and I want to be reminded of this all the time.

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk
paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package."
He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has
never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next
to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just
died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life.
Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.
I spend more time with my family, and less at work.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to,
not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every
day. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.
I don't save my special perfume for special occasions; I use it whenever I
want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my
dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen
or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew
she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she
might have called her relatives and closest friends.
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to
think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. It's these small
things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.
I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet,
letters... letters that I wanted to write "One of these days".
I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons,
not times enough at least, how much I love them.
Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter
and joy into our lives.

And, on each morning, i admire the beauty of the day. I would not with hold love and good words because i may no get that opportunity back.....

so sick

2007-01-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

The Word says that if we confess our sins to each other and pray for each other then we would be healed. The power of confession not just brings to light what is hidden but it also brings into proper perspective what you think is the truth when the word of God is illuminated. It is like everything else grows dim when God's word says it all. Confession also helps you acknowledge that ALL YOU NEED IS GOD and you are at his mercy.

Since we are prone to stray and we have valid longings, we tend to just put our guards down without contemplating on what could be. So we learn to accept things because in the world we live in, there are no standards. As long as it makes you happy then people would advise that do what your heart says and dictates.

Well, well, well, when you love the people and loving the world, in a way you tend to smell like the world. When you love the sheep then you smell like them. But there is a fine line between God's standards and the world's. God's ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are definitely higher than our ways.

Sometimes it makes no sense why what you feel cannot be continued. Not only do we follow ethics but if we obey God, there are far greater things we are not seeing that God wants us to be protected from.

Like any normal single person, we are prone to longing and wanting but it doesn't mean that we allow ourselves to be swayed as vulnerable we may be due to the world around us. That is why God's word is the offensive weapon from any of the enemy's tricks because we are able to judge sharper and way better when we aligned to same channel.

If you don't establish yourself on his word then a simple love song can convince you, a sign in the clouds can mislead you, a simple gesture can sweep you off your feet. But with God's word, you realize that it is all just a pose. You realize that it is actually a wolf in sheep's clothing. If you know the word of God then you can take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.

Fasting is so great in removing deceptions and distractions. Sometimes, the stronghold is so strong you become emotionally attached you think you are right. You nurture the feeling and justify your views. You don't want to let it go until the monster feeling gets bigger it eats you up and remove God's peace. But part of Lordship is giving up things that are not really his will for us. They are not necessarily sins but it can come between you and God.

If you are willing and obedient then you will enter his promise land and eat its fruit. I am so glad I have a Father who disciplines those he loves and delights in. A Father who will take care of my every need.

I am careful now of love songs, careful of signs, careful of gestures. Only one thing is valid and reliable- what God has to say in his love letter to me.

I love this song of Ne-yo for its beat. Like the song, I'm so sick of lovesongs that lead me on but i will not "kill my appetite for living because I am longing." Because the only place I can escape love is hell. I still believe that love is so powerful to conquer all!

2007-01-12T18:04:00.000+08:00

Lord, I hate this feeling of being caught up in a trap again. I want to be able to walk in the garden with you alone. Free like a deer and can stand so many heights. Here I am again, giving up my Isaac for the nth time. The heart is deceptive above all things and it has left me again wandering away from what you want me to do.

Thank you for bringing me back on track. You are the only One that I need. You are the only one that really completes me. How could I have thought that it can be found through someone else without you.

You are my friend, my lover, my father, my constant companion, my teacher, my guide, my protector, my shepherd, my provider. Apart from you, I am nothing. Please remove everything that may come between us.

You are my very great reward!

How do you say " I love you"?

2007-01-11T08:15:00.000+08:00

You say it in a song......

Here are a some of the classic love songs I never tire of listening:

Just being where your special someone is special enough.... No one can beat the bliss of being near the one you love....

or you see forever together with that special someone.........

or you see that person with such beauty everytime regardless the time of day....

Fasting- 6th day

2007-01-10T16:47:00.000+08:00

I joined our church annual 7 day fast which started Jan 5'07 and will end tomorrow. I'm on my 6th day and I really feel so useless and can't think straight I decided to eat and perhaps continue it again tomorrow.

Fasting is like being in love. You can't eat because you are thinking of that one special person. Same as our love for God, you can't help but set aside that special time of fasting to just think about him. I see this in most engaged couples. They don't want to be separated even for just a second.

Strange is that God has given me so much grace that I was able to come to work the past 5 days doing a liquid fast. I was even doing overtime at work and has accomplished more than when I was eating normally. But looks like it took it's toll because my patience is kindda not at it's highest level. The good side is that my impatience to get things done is making me productive. But I feel like I am not able to tolerate things where I used to have high tolerance level. I was also insensitive that I am already becoming a hot head and impatient over my agents and over petty stuff.

God is good that the last 2 days of fasting are my days off but looks like my brain is already playing tricks on me. I must have edited my previous blog several times more than usual because of grammatical errors and missing words. Funny but It's really all about Faith now. I have faith that God hears our prayers not because we can manipulate him over something by fasting. For me, this is more of consecration and being more sensitive to what he wants me to do. It's time to clean the house and for God to perform a spiritual surgery and point the cancers in my life and remove it.

This year, it is special because I have crossed so many crossroads last year and this year is even greater in terms of where God will take me. I just feel I am ready wherever, whenever and whatever it takes. I am not alone; I will go where God asks me too.

on waiting......

2007-01-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

I'm attempting to write a long poem on waiting and looks like I am stomped since I stopped writing poems for a long time. I have become so used to business writing that I have lost touch of my artistic writing. Good thing I can still write my thoughts. Anyways, I want to write my thoughts on waiting. Waiting is like sitting during the fourth watch of the night for the sun to rise. Now, that is how sure the promises of God are- you know for sure that the sun will rise the next day. But how about waiting for the rain to fall after a season of drought? How about waiting for the value of your stocks to go up? Now, I get you, it gets little bit tricky and unsure.

“Let not your longing slay your appetite for living” – Jim Elliot to Elizabeth Elliot

Have you ever prayed for something for so long and you are still waiting for the answer because you believe it will come to pass and that you don't want to compromise your standards because you know that what you wished and believed will come true? So you continue to pray, you wait and you listen or observe. I'm sure most of you have your own heart's desire. The word of God says that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, then he will give us the desires of our heart. Since God never lies then this holds true. However, no matter how simple his word maybe, we still question. That is because men are used to get results their way by the use of their own senses. They judge things base on what they can see. Like doubting Thomas, for some of us, "to see is to believe". Fasting helps us focus on what is not seen. Most often than not, what we don't see is more real than what we really see. Faith cannot be seen. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we don’t see. The question is do we have enough faith after seeing a lot of things contrary to what you wished for. That is why without faith it is impossible to please God and that anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him.

So how do we delight ourselves in God? My friend who just got married (and I have a lot of friends who just got married), sent an email recommending a married life. I cannot remember if she is more excited about her married life or of the fact that God surprised her with a great husband. But what I can remember well is that her email sounded how she is more thrilled over God surprising her. Amazing? It practically kept me wondering the whole day and inspired me to think of how intimate my relationship with God or lack of. Will I also rejoice more of my relationship with God when I am so in love with my partner? I mean, is that possible? I was challenged to really pursue God. I realized how much God must have really waited and pursued us. That if we groan about waiting, then God has more valid reason to groan because he has been waiting for us to want Him and desire Him even longer than our wait.

I was inspired to really delight on God. After that, it is as if all the selfish desires were put-off. I just want to know if what I am doing is really something that would please him. And for all single people out there, they are missing the bliss of a romantic fellowship with God because they long too much for partnership that their focus is away from God. I must have written in my previous blog that most of our desires really stems from one thing- to know God. He is really the Only One who can satisfy our EVERY needs and wants.

So in times of doubting, waiting and testing, God’s Word is a sure offensive weapon to fight all of that. So while waiting, God’s Word should always be near us so we don’t get swayed by what we feel and what others try to dictate to us.

I am still waiting, but I am confident of this, I will see God’s goodness. I will be strong and will take heart; I will wait on Him and not just on the promises.

2007-01-07T14:38:00.000+08:00

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. . .

The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell."

--The Four Loves (C.S. Lewis)

Captivating (part 1)

2007-01-04T09:23:00.000+08:00

reposting from last year......

CAPTIVATING is a book by John and Stasi Eldredge. John Eldredge wrote a book for men entitled "Wild at Heart" and the book is so powerful, so much that it is through this book that I learned how to be a woman. I'm hooked up with the woman's counterpart of the book which is equally engrossing and powerful and it is this book called Captivating. One time as I share my own story about how I despised Beauty in the past (I used to feel and think that I am ugly and I don’t want to smile otherwise I am attracting men, later I discovered that God loves and enjoys me the way I am, I am now more comfortable in being the woman God created me to be, I am holy and my beauty comes from my continuous abiding in him, I love being a woman now) and how God redeemed me on my concept of beauty someone suggested that I read this book Captivating because my story and my struggles are the very subject tackled in the book. I was intrigued at first to find out that my story is found in this book or that at least I have the same revelation as the author’s. Finally, I am now able to take hold of a copy and found time to read it. Sure enough I can't put it down and later after my brother's prompting, I'm inspired to write a brief overview of it. Now, here it goes although I may just give you glimpses of it as I am still reading and chewing every morsel of thought in this book.

There are three core desires in the heart of a woman: 1) to be romanced, ( to be desired, be sought after, be pursued, be rescued), 2) to play an irreplaceable role in an adventure ( the warrior side, play an irreplaceable role in a great story, make an impact) and 3) beauty to unveil (display beauty, women is the crowning glory of creation, the most intricate of all creation, desire to be beautiful, to be captivating, possess a beauty that is worth fighting for, worth pursuing for, beauty that can be seen, beauty that can be felt, beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil).

The heart of man also has three core desires and uniquely masculine: 1) battle to fight (in fact, passivity might make a man "safe", but it has done untold damage to women in the long run. It certainly did to Eve), 2) adventure to live (adventure it's a spiritual longing in the heart of every man, it requires something of men, puts men to the test, they may fear the test but yearns to e tested, the thrill of knowing what it takes) 3) a beauty to rescue (a man needs a battle to fight and someone to fight for. There is nothing that inspires a man to courage so much as the woman he loves, men long to offer their strength on behalf of the women these show how beautifully each of man's heart fits well with the woman's and vise versa. A beautiful woman in the presence of a man who will offer strength for her. "A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero. Each core desires of each man and woman also reflect and reveal the very heart of God. The difference of each role and the uniqueness of their make up is not a weakness but their glory. Men define themselves with the battle they have fought while women define themselves with their relationships. As God longs to captivate us, he also longs to have a relationship with us. Woman is inviting, tender and alluring, fiercely devoted. God reveals himself likewise as a passionate, devoted, romantic side- look at Eve.

Woman is the greatest helpmate; "it is not good for man to be alone" means woman is not just needed but is desperately needed. Just like God, a help in times of need, help and shield, lifesaver, (men wants a battle to fight and women are their lifesaver or inspiration), an essential part as God is essential. An irreplaceable role to play that's why women have ability to suffer great hardships. God is beautiful beyond description, nature is not all about function but beauty, God is shining and radiant in beauty. Beauty is the essence of a woman too.

Women were given by God a beautiful in form as well as beautiful spirit and grace. She simply expresses beauty in who she is. Like God, beauty is her essence. For man, it is awkward to find him beautiful in naked form; his essence is not beauty but man in action. There is something disturbing in man’s PASSIVITY. He should bear the image of God who is a warrior. Man's passivity defies his essence and the way he bears God's image just as it is doesn’t look right to see a woman in a brutal combat.

Beauty speaks of peace, rest, comfort, the promise of a new day. Beauty says, “All will be well". A woman comfortable in her beauty is enjoyable to be with. She is lovely and refreshing to be with; you can hardly hold your breath. Beauty also invites, as in a beautiful garden you want to explore, you long to discover, and it holds you, draws you and you can't wait to spend time. With it. Beauty nourishes, beauty comforts, beauty inspires and these are the most misunderstood qualities of God. A woman knows deep down in her soul that she longs to bring beauty to the world. She longs for a beauty to unveil, "not to get a man" but this is her design, her essence. Just as much as God wants to explode beauty in the world.

Confessions of a single woman

2007-01-04T06:01:00.000+08:00

It has been 3 years since I had a relationship and I am not ashamed to write my struggles as a single woman because I know I am hidden in God and I am not doing anything to be ashamed of in the first place. Moreover, my own struggles serve as a lesson, an inspiration to many in how they should live their lives in the hopes of waiting for the right man.

God must have enjoyed me so much that for three years now, I never had any relationships, flings although I must admit I was attracted to a lot of good men. It was around 12 months or a year to be exact since God has shut down my heart so I can have undivided attention and now, the desire to be with a man grows ever so intense.

Every woman desires to be admired, be pursued and explode their beauty. I admit that because it has been along time since I was pursued and admired (at least from what I am aware of); I can't help but feel really lonely and empty inside.

It started this Christmas and New Year when I spent those eve working. I enjoyed my work not to say my lovable agents inspire some to be there for them but there is this sting in my heart that seem to crouch at the door of my longings to be with someone.

Oh you know what I am talking about if you are single and a woman. Not because you are a Christian that you have lost that desire or maybe you are too religious to start an in-your-face conversion with your soul. Going back, I yearn to be cared for, pursued, wanted and loved by a man. But not just any man, but a man of standard. A man assigned to me by God.

I still haven't lost track of what I really want especially after calling off two engagements in a row, I am proud to say that I know now what I want and I will surely not compromise that. Then why is that the options and odds for me to be with a man who I like seem to grow dimmer and dimmer as opposed to when I was younger, could it be that I have set a very high standard that I cannot see the man outside the fence or vise versa? Could it be that I am just comparing myself to most of my friends who one by one are tying the knot? Could it be that right up until now, no one has really pursued me the way I want to be courted?

Let’s backtrack; the last time I know I got this attention was two years ago when men would ask my workmates for my name. Then they would befriend my workmate so they’ll get to know me. Then they would catch my schedule and be there where I am so they can introduce themselves. Then comes the invitations for lunch, and then emails then the normal visits. All of these didn’t work for me because I can read through their intentions. I am the type who wouldn’t give you a chance if I don’t see us having a future together. I remember one of my batch mates at work asked me If he can court me, guess what I said? I bluntly said no. There was one time one good-looking 5 years my junior came to our account. He was attractive compared to most men in our account, I can’t help but admire his built, I learned that he liked me from the very first look , and women knows that and are sensitive to that when it happens. Because of standards, I treated the guy like a normal friend and made sure he doesn’t fall for me because he is way younger. There was a persistent guy who constantly visits me on my floor and made sure I ate during my break. He was so persistent but I learned he was married, so I axed him nicely.

Then there was this guy from my circle of friends that I usually spend time with. Christmas and New Year, we spent it together last year, but nothing happened aside from his boyish charm and pa-cute effects. I guess it is because he is simply not the right man for me. So I moved on and God has closed my heart for 10 months.

Yes there are times when my workmates would try to tease me, compliment me and even spend time with me but because my heart is closed, I never noticed it until some time that I would realize that they were already hitting on me. Either I have no time or I never considered them at all that is why I didn’t pay attention.

My agents would even recommend their friends and uncles just get me hooked up. Our meetings sometimes end up them convincing me to open up. It just was not the right time.

Then my friend who is 37 years old married a guy 10 years her senior. I tell you, I had hope. Nothing is really impossible with God. Even gay guys would encourage me that if they were straight they could have done something about it because they found me smart and beautiful. Funny but true.

God will give me glimpses of the man he has assigned for me through different personas that I encounter. Sometimes he takes the form of my mentor, my teacher, my friend, my boss, my agent, or a character in the movies.

Just this week, there was a deep longing for this guy who I know is very admirable who I can’t really avoid because we see each other often. I was not guarding my heart that I must have fallen for his good qualities. I don’t know if it is good that I easily admired him because it is a sign that I am not too stringent as I used to be or it could be bad because I may have lowered my standards.

I finally got to the bottom of dealing with those feelings after laying it all to God and let his will be done. I went to the gym and spent time with my family over dinner and movies. My brother showed wisdom by asking me what are my standards and I was able to see a clearer picture that I cannot really compromise my conviction--that he has to love God most of all.

Haaaaaay, the heart is deceptive above all things and is beyond cure. I want my heart to be so pure that I only have God in my heart. Whoever that man is, I know he is not perfect but together, we are and will be perfect for each other.

He is so in love with God, that he will honor me. He is someone who would treat me like a princess the way God has treated me. If I don’t find him or if he doesn’t find me, then God always have a reason and a far better plan. I just don’t want to take things into my own hands.

It is just like how God pursued and waited for me, that guy would specially reveal and enhance my relationship with God.

I know that this has become too personal but sometimes you need to tackle things straight off the bat. You need to face your demons and really get back to the basics of life. That God is loving and is the only one who can complete us. Meeting that man would just be a reflection of how much God loves me.

I am glad God has a plan for me and he has never lied nor failed on any of his promises. His love completes me and makes me secure. Yes, I will be still and know that you alone are God.

Stalker

2006-12-28T17:20:00.000+08:00

I know I just started this morning ritual of jogging all the way to Rockwell on my rest days. Just when I am starting a new habit, a stalker has destroyed it. I am writing not to ruin his reputation, plus the fact that I don't think that guy has time reading blogs anyways. But I want to warn those who think they can get away with anything because they have the looks, sorry but I am a sucker for good character and gentleman ways.

Anyways, this guy normally calls and text and he was my friend a few years back. I guess I'm just very nice to people and don't judge them but always give them a chance. So I didn't with hold my friendship with this guy because for all I know, I can draw him closer to God or be an angel or save his life (I know I sound like a savior, sorry, maybe I need to stop this Messiah complex).

Anyways, it is 4AM, just in time for me to get up and jog by I was awakened by this friend who has been calling me but it just so happens that I am asleep that I only check the missed calls right after I wake up. This time, I answered the phone and it was the start of an unpeaceful dawn.

First, he wanted to see me and of course I declined because I am still half awake and in no condition to meet up at this time. Second, I thought if just talk on the phone, then it will be alright and his concerns can be shut up. Next thing I know, he is heading towards our house! Man, I closed my phone and hurried to my mom's room who is still talking with my brothers (yes, our family has this habit of talking at this time, the whole day most of the time- we love to talk). When my mom saw I was in a panic mode, I relayed that this guy wants to see me at this time.

She advised me to go ahead and meet him but my brother will accompany me because if I shut off the phone then the stalking would continue. Fearfully I opened the phone and there you go, he is calling me again. I found my self giving him directions until he is in front of our house. To cut it short, my mom accompanied me down the stairs and met up with this guy. Finally, he noticed the sign that I am not going elsewhere and enter his car. I put off my jogging plans.

I wanted to be a friend to this guy and at the same time let him know of hi boundaries. It is quite insensitive for him to just barge in like that which totally blew me off. He texted to apologize but I have learned my lesson- real men who has honest intentions will not use spontaneity to manipulate other people. Deep inside my heart, I know he just wants to get something from me more than he wants to give something to me.

Finally, this guy admitted he just got married and wanted out of the relationship-OMG, it is good to know God has protected me. Until now, I am thankful that I am a sucker for character because I don't want to compromise my choice of partner over momentary happiness. I mean, I trust God will give me the best.

After that, I asked God to protect me from those with bad intentions...there are many of them if you are not careful.

Note: To all my friends who have posted their comments, I finally approved all of them. I never knew they existed until I migrated to Google account, hew! I am thrilled and floored about your nice words!

To all single out there- celebrate where you are right now because God has a purpose for you. Marriage is not just a paper you can purchase when you bad it enough, it is a commitment; it entails sacrifice, respect and love.

Let us please God in every way, single or married because that is our goal in life!

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What are the characteristics of a stalker?

url: citt.cudenver.edu/.../stalk_charact.html

Stalkers are not always strangers. In many stalking cases, the victim is acquainted with the perpetrator. The following warning signs are characteristics of a stalker. These characteristics appear in other abusive relationships as well. If you feel threatened by anyone, whether or not you believe it is a stalker, contact University Police.

Extreme jealousy
Expectation that you will spend all of your time with him/her
Expectation that you will inform him/her of your whereabouts
Follows you frequently
Threatens you
Damages your property
Talks about violence or is fascinated with themes of violence
Makes your family or friends feel scared or uneasy
Offers unsolicited help
Refuses to accept no for an answer
Isolates you from your friends and/or family

Spacious Space

2006-12-27T14:08:00.000+08:00

"He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." Ps 18:19
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Since its Christmas season, not to say I gained a lot of pounds due to my negligence to exercise, I needed to take control again. Though there is a gym right where I am working, I preferred to stay out of my workplace on my rest days. I have tried brisk walking from my place in Boni Mandaluyong and a few laps to Mandaluyong Circle and at 4AM, I can still breathe the 70% pollution instead of the 30% fresh air. So on this next round, my destination is the Powerplant Rockwell. I wanted to experience the freshness of morning air while doing my regular meditation. Yes, it was an invigorating experience. Although I anticipated that I would need to pass by eye sore sights of the busy streets of Mandaluyong and JP Rizal, going to my destination is enough inspiration for me, plus the fact that I need to loose some pounds of course.

So there I go, with my jogging pants, sport shirt, hair all tied in a bun shirt, a head band, small back pack to carry my face towelette, keys, petty cash and cell phone. I was on my way to my morning adventure. While sprinting my way, I remember the word given to me by my mentor, Myla the first time I asked her to be accountable to me. She spoke about me traveling in a compact horse carrier ready to be released in a spacious place. Yes, I was the horse in her vision. But what refreshed me was the fact that all the restrictions I was experiencing during that time are just temporary and necessary because I am being taken to a spacious place.

The same was my experience early this morning; I needed to pass by narrow, busy, stinky, wet streets in order for me to go to my destination. Before Rockwell, I can see the glimpse of that spacious place while in JP Rizal, the road became wider and more promising as I pass through the bridge and meet the fresh air of 4AM.

Entering the Powerplant territory, my heart wants to jump up and down like a kid. I was like let loose in a beautiful rare garden and the air turned 200% pure. The roads are not just wide but you can lie down. I love that there were still stars, there were no more than 5 people walking and doing early morning exercise, there were a lot of quiet, secret places I can meditate while enjoying the wonderfully built gardens while basking in the glory of its beautiful ambiance. Not that I haven't been to Rockwell because I frequent this place for four years, but the fact that it was my first time to go by myself early in the morning to do my morning meditation, there was an air of excitement. I know I would hear from God.

From a sprint, my pace turned slow and relaxed. I was photographing each turn, each moment in my memory. I was talking to my best friend inside my heart, enjoying everything I have seen and what I have desired days before I planned this morning adventure.

Stopping by the unlit giant Christmas tree, I was planning to lie down in one of the Bermuda grass so I can enjoy the stars and enjoy that moment. I decided to lie down the bench in front of the giant Christmas tree and just bask in the glory of early morning while the dawn hasn’t come up yet. AH! It was absolute rest, peace, beauty, and eternal bliss!

I had all the time I need to stay there and decided to stay for another 30 minutes since I have already walked more than an hour to go there. And a thought came in. Like most of us who are in a restricted, busy, ugly place in life, that should not deprive us from looking forward to a beautiful place in life. A spacious place that God has prepared for us.

The ugly things we need to go through will just be a speck of dust compared to the splendor of what is to come. That is the destiny of anyone who believes in Christ, that should propel us to walk in victory and always stand in hope that our temporary suffering on earth are short lived but the glory of the future and the grandeur of God’s plans far outweighs our sufferings and longings.

The reality is, we need to go through that ugly place. Because life is like a pilgrimage.

I was deeply humbled while I remembered a beautiful scene in the film called Nativity, where Mary on her 9^th month of pregnancy was traveling uncomfortably on a donkey and Joseph’s feet were sore from the entire dessert storm he needs to face just to reach Bethlehem. Both of them were given grace to endure hunger, gossip, doubt, fear of what is to come. They both obeyed and carried the will of God which brought peace in their hearts and the whole world.

How many of us, would endure to fulfill God’s will even if it meant inconvenience? And I was one of those people inspired by that story as it played in mind while watching the stars, there basking in front of the Christmas tree in Rockwell.

After I have received the new spirit I needed to go on, I started my way back while it was still dark so I can avoid the rising sun and enjoy my one hour back home.

Reaching home, I have a lot of saved memories of my encounter with God and another object lesson that I lingered over his goodness as I slept the remainder of that early morning.

Everyone should try this when they need to clear their mind. God will not judge us when we come to him but would welcome us with open arms. All of us need to be pampered with his love so we can go out again and love other people.

I am approaching that spacious place, I will linger and I will stay when I have reached it.

FIDELITY

2006-12-14T13:13:00.000+08:00

One time while surfing the cable channels I heard a preacher said the reason we are looking for other things we think we lack such as: love, comfort, companionship, sex, money, joy is because we are really craving for God and needs God to reveal himself to us as our lover, our comfort, our companion, our protector, our provider. And instead of perverting those desires by looking at other places or people, we simply needs to nurture our relationship with God by asking him to be all of that to us. That strike a cord and a big note for me because sometimes I think those desires are natural but the 50% truth is that, God placed those desires so that he himself would be the one and can be the only one 100% capable to fill those desires. Also, the cause of low fidelity is that people tend to search for those things from their partner or other people which is really really wrong. Let me share to you a beautiful article me cell group leader/ mentor sent me:

Dear friends,

Here's an article from the CBN website which I'd like to share with you.

May the Lord continue to keep us pure, holy and blameless in the sight of God and man, and to strengthen our marriages (and for the singles like me, our upcoming marriages)!

Love,
Myla

http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/churchandministry/O'Rourke_Escape_Sexual_Sin.aspx
FIDELITY
Escaping Sexual Sin Before it's Too Late
By Rev. Marty O'Rourke
Guest Writer

CBN.com – Overcoming Temptation Will Cost Your Pride Dearly

Why are so many strong Christians succumbing to sexual sin? We must remember that we as Christians do not live in a vacuum but in a culture filled with temptations that stir lust. Many people have fallen because they underestimated the power of sexual temptation.

Paul’s first letter to the Church at Corinth has the strongest teaching about sexual sin because Corinth, like our culture, was saturated with sexual temptation.

The Bible declares that God is faithful and no matter what temptation we face, He will provide “a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Cor. 10:13).
God’s will for us is to overcome temptation, but it will cost us dearly, especially our pride. The preceding passage (1 Cor 10:12) warns us: “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” God is telling us that the first step in overcoming temptation is to beware of the attitude, “It couldn’t happen to me.”

As the wisdom of Proverbs says, pride sets us up for a fall.

The Rev. Gordon MacDonald, a wonderful pastor and at one time president of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, shares in his book Rebuilding Your Broken World about a time when he was asked about how Satan might get him. He answered:
All sorts of ways, I suppose; but I know there's one way he wouldn't get me. “What's that?” He'd never get me in the area of my personal relationships. That's one place where I have no doubt that I'm as strong as you can get. A few years after that conversation my world broke wide open. A chain of seemingly innocent choices became destructive, and it was my fault. Choice by choice by choice, each easier to make, each becoming gradually darker. And then my world broke -- in the very area I had predicted I was safe -- and my world had to be rebuilt.
He goes on to quote from My Utmost for His Highest: “An unguarded strength is actually a double weakness.” Here is a man of God with a good marriage who had written books on family life and yet fell into adultery. Why? Because he thought it couldn’t happen to him and left this part of his life unguarded.

If David, who was “a man after God’s own heart,” Gordon MacDonald, and many other strong men and women of faith yielded to sexual temptation, it could happen to you. God is telling us through these words of Paul -- “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Cor. 10:12) -- that our vulnerability to sin increases when we think it could not happen to us.

Almost all Christians, especially Christian leaders, who have fallen to sexual temptation would tell you that they did not think it could have happened to them.

1 Corinthians 6:18 warns us, “Flee from sexual immorality.” It is easy for pride to convince us that we don’t really need to FLEE, and that this instruction is for weaker Christians. We mislead ourselves into thinking that instead of fleeing we can stroll away, looking back once in awhile, because we are strong enough to resist or flirt with temptation. Admitting that we need to flee takes real Christian humility. Remember, overcoming sexual temptation will cost your pride dearly.

When do you need to flee?
When you find yourself thinking about a “friend, co-worker, ministry partner, counselee” and how much you enjoy being with this person -- FLEE!
When you look forward to spending more time with this person and you make sure you look especially nice if you know you might see your “friend” that day -- FLEE!
If you begin to fantasize about being with this person or knowingly start touching your “friend” in “innocent “ ways -- FLEE!
When you become more secretive about your interaction with your “friend” because people like your spouse might “misunderstand” your friendship -- FLEE!
If you receive cards, e-mails or presents from this person that you would not want your spouse to see -- FLEE!
When you find yourself comparing your spouse in an unfavorable way to your “friend”-- FLEE!
If you start confiding in your “friend” about your marital problems -- FLEE!
Anytime we feel we must keep something secret, this would indicate that sin is crouching at our door. If you are experiencing sexual attraction to someone – or experiencing some other kind of temptation over a few days – go to your spouse or someone you can trust in the Body of Christ. Bring the secret out into the light of day and ask for prayer and accountability.

Satan loves it when we keep secrets in the dark because of shame, fear, or pride – but remember, darkness is overcome by light. Often this alone can break the power of temptation, but it will cost you your pride.

Many are unwilling to sacrifice their pride by admitting their struggle with sin to get the help they need. There is great wisdom in these words by Rick Warren:
If you’re losing the battle against a persistent bad habit, an addiction, or a temptation, and you're stuck in a repeating cycle of good intention-failure-guilt, you will not get better on your own. You need the help of other people. Some temptations are only overcome with the help of a partner who prays for you, encourages you, and holds you accountable.
Tragically, too many people – because of family background, having experienced sexual abuse or abandonment, or having a long history of struggling with lust – need significant ministry, yet are unwilling to get help until they are forced to do so after yielding to sin.

Yes, there is a price that your pride must pay to overcome temptation – but please take a moment and consider the much greater price of yielding to temptation. Consider the damage to the cause of Christ, to your family, and to your Christian witness, along with the pain you will cause yourself and the ones you love the most.

God has given us everything we need to overcome temptation, but it will cost our pride dearly. However, I plead with you to consider the even greater cost of yielding to the temptation.

2006-11-15T16:34:00.000+08:00

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound!)
That sav'd a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev'd; How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ'd!

Thro' many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis'd good to me, His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be, As long as life endures.
Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease;
I shall possess, within the veil, A life of joy and peace.
This earth shall soon dissolve like snow, The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who call'd me here below, Will be for ever mine. John Newton

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Yes! I'm out of the CSAT game and I'm now with the sales arm of my account! I am so relieved! Never really imagined how God has worked through my corporate movement. I am the only supervisor I know who has moved four times in less than two months. I don't mind my new schedule and I can do a lot of things to inspire these agents to do good.

God really works in mysterious ways. He works for the good of those who loves him and who has been called according to his purpose.

I got my passport finally! Joan is scheduled to wen on December 21 and I'm the maid of honor. Next i"ll be the bride na.

It's almost Christmas and I finished my Christmas gift list for my friends. I just need to do the tiring part before gift wrapping - shopping!

Yeah I know, It's absurd but amongst all female species, I dislike shopping. I'm like a guy in terms of know ing what I want whenever I go to the mall. I hate long lines although I like to haunt for bargains when I need something.

Well well, Christmas parties again. I pray that I don't get my priorities messed up. Although I am giving myself time to go out again after 11 months of hibernation, I will still pick and choose my extra curricular, socializing churvah!

Something is coming up

2006-11-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time and may take another couple of months before I can add sumthin in my blog. Hopefully that would all change as Im being transferred to a sales account which is less tedious than the flight bookings that can really make the floor go crazy every shift. I am anticipating something good this year or at least before the year ends. I am also getting reunited with my galle friends which I have forgotten for 10 months to focus on my promotion. Nyways, whoever is erading this blog, hang in there because God has a plan far beyond what we can ever imagine and tests are meant not to test God but to test us on how we respond to situations.

Well, Dra Joan got engaged as well as Adjeng. Ivy also got married. So that is 3 of my closest friend getting attached. That is the 6th event this year so far after Kirt getting married, Lilet getting married and Rose getting engaged. Ooops I forgot to mention Edel who got married last year as well.

I am definitely next hehe. That guys must need a whole lot of faith. I am excited. It will not be the arm of flesh but the arm of God. It is going to be more than I can ever ask or imagine.

Im excited with the opening of our new outreach in coffee bean and this is all call center peepz which is what is in my heart for the longest time now. God is setting people free.

Im not really inspired to write now because of this Korean keyboard given to me by the Cafe. Cannot really say much except, God is reuniting me with a lot of old friends and creating new friendships. I am learning to spend time outside work and chill out after 10 months of over focus with my work.

I cant stand the flirting around the cafes now if not for the busted dsl connection in our house, I would not endure all these flirtinggoing around beside my terminal.

On that note, I gotta go...

There is hope

2006-07-16T02:22:00.000+08:00

What am I doing way past 2 in the morning??? I just can' wait but write what has transpired during my absence of blogging. It was a hectic season. Getting promoted is not all that, it means working 16 hours. At least for me it means contending with lack of sleep, challenging agents, unrealistic CSAT (customer satisfaction) surveys, stressed managers and supervisors, harassed agents, clueless newbies, uncalled for reactions of people who you don't know if they want to be your friends or who wants to get the best of you so because they are empty inside and they need some comfort. Well yeah, I did felt like a comfort woman (ha ha), in the sense that people usually find it cozy to talk to me. But ey! It took its toll on me. I hardly had time for godly fellowships, church friends and activities. Sometimes I felt like I have a different world because my job requires 200% of my attention (spiritually, physically and emotionally). People get to be touchy when they are not appreciated and I guess being obsessive compulsive, I feel like after doing my best and people still find fault against me, I really get hurt. It's a season of contending with all these whirlwind of situation and relationships that can really leave me toxic. I sometimes want to disappear from it all but no I'm not in a fantastic 4 movie and I don't really have that power. My only consolation? I have Jesus! Yeah, just hearing his name and saying it makes all the difference. I know that when the blows of life keep punching me, God is there to carry me through. Honestly, I felt like walking in the dark for so long not because I am doing something that is not right but I felt alone and tired. When you have been fighting and still needs to put up a bold front for the people who depend on you, it’s kindda hard without God’s help. Matter of fact, God is the only one that made sense to me during those times. Now I realize that in the hardest and toughest situation, there is hope. There is sunshine after the rain, a dawn after the sunset, a season after another, a good God despite the ugliness of life. Well, well, well, I am learning that happiness is not getting what you want but being happy with what you have while believing and trusting God for the things you still long for. And the things you long for should not paralyze you from enjoying your life at present. Live you life now and be thankful of every little thing because I don’t want to miss my blessings at present so I can enjoy more blessings that will come. The art of appreciation is really more of an attitude than the altitude. It’s not a state of hype before you recognize someone but a decision to constantly recognize and thank God for everything he has done. I am becoming nostalgic again because I just came from Bagaberde. I enjoyed the sounds of U-Turn, Flipside and MYMP. I wasn’t prepared to go home but my non-call center friends are ready to hit the sack while I am at the peak of my adrenalin. So here am I trying to document my day while waiting for the gift of sleep. Life is what your maker directed you to do. Like a pen that was purposely created to be a tool to write on is not fulfilling its destiny when it is just on a display or used some other way. I feel like I need to know my life’s purpose away from my job and my ministry. Single people tend to mix their need for purpose and the need for a future partner. I know that if I am not complete I will end up expecting a man can actually complete me. Singleness is such a gift because now I can really say I have time for everything. I am being so productive with my time I hardly have enough time to think of relationships. God is the best boyfriend, husband, friend of all. A relationship is a gift and a responsibility. Only God knows if I am ready for it. Yes there is hope--- that is because, there is God. Recognizing that He is there is most crucial.

I have decided to stay happy!

2006-05-05T12:55:00.002+08:00

"Haggard!!!” that's the common term used in the travel industry where I am now. I never thought that being in a travel account is three times harder than technical support. To think my previous account was the elite group in terms of technicality and highly skilled in terms of troubleshooting. Imagine the combination skills of dial-up, DSL, cable and web hosting rolled into one and yet Expedia.com is such a hard account. True it is more of customer service but the tools we use are highly technical (talk about worldspan), and the policies per airline, hotel and car vendor is way above my head. You need to be highly skilled or highly dedicated to master it. Never worked this hard my entire life although I've worked as QA supervisor but I am able to finish my task. This one keeps on piling and I can't afford to miss work. It's crunch time each time, every time. In terms of emails (200 plus a day), cases to be resolved, customer satisfaction ratings, co-workers, managers, agents I need to deal with every single day. It's like learning to juggle the most important and most urgent using both hands and feet.

And guess what? Oh, I love my job! Yes, you read it right. I love my job because first of all, it’s a gift of God, It's an answered prayer. I love my office, in the heart of Ayala and the best floor in PS Center (5th floor), I love my new found friends, I love my team and my agents. I guess it's easy for me to love people and show that I care.

I believe in relationships and don't treat it as disposable. I may have some friendships that rested for awhile but schedule permitting; the fondness of friendship hasn't changed. Same is true with my EarthLink barkada, oh boy! I miss my family of two years. The time I was there were the best times for Webhosting team. Early breakfasts after shift. Expedia is not the breakfast type. They are the pizza at night people. Different strokes for different folks.

God really knows how to place people, it’s like I'm a born supervisor slash admin slash counselor slash analytics. I love what I'm doing. I don't suppose I'm married to my job but when it comes to people, I'm really hands on. I love being with people and making a difference in their lives.

Well, well well, who says you can never make a career out of a call center job? And I'm going on my 5th year. Yes, indeed, I'm built for this job I guess. Coolness! I got the Quality Cup for April (no more disputes please) and Yes! Yes! Yes! I topped the 30 plus teams (I have the best team, I owe it to them).

But yes, I want a life after this. I HAVE DECIDED TO BE HAPPY! And when someone asks me how am I doing? I say, "I'm happy and blessed". Thank God, he is the one that gave me the satisfaction with my job. Coolness!

They say I'm a strong supe, a good supe, a kind supe, a strategic supe. But I want to be remembered as a leader that made a difference in people’s lives.

Walking with the Clouds

2006-03-14T10:25:00.000+08:00

Walking with the clouds is the safest place on earth. When I say clouds, I'm referring to God's leading, his move, his direction. I'm excited to be now based at the Fort. I have been away from Fort for three years. I was assigned to do back up for galleria in the 9&11 team for two years and one year in the Saturday team. I am now coming back to my home after three years, not that galle wasn't my home for three years because I established and found my spiritually family there as well. I can sense a fresh start, like a newly cut grass that I can lie down. Like a break of a new day. I have a lot of new things this year. I'm moving to a new leadership group because my mentor is moving to Sidney and I'm brokenhearted but we need to follow the cloud, God's new direction. And I know that it's going to be a little awkward but exciting at first.

I came from Edel and Richard's wedding and so far it was the most romantic wedding I have been through, actually Kirt and Him's wedding was enchanting but this one was like, so moving. Most of them cried, at the onset during the bridal march while Richard was singing the song for Edel, Richard was in tears. Then half through the Word, Edel cried. After the ceremony, both of them are in tears. During the photoshoot, Richard's small brother Benjie cried. During the honoring and message of the parents, what else? but everyone cried.

I love the fact that they are so full of faith and they are starting together with big faith. I don't despise small beginnings, in fact the bible says not to despise the days of small beginnings in Zephaniah. I can feel the presence of God, the love of the couple, their faith lingers all throughout the night. My own faith was challenged and put to a test.

This couple, the three of us matter of fact started hanging out during Mondays, our days off, then after services, sometimes three times a week. To malls, UP sunken garden, funerals, coffee houses and I found a spiritual prayer partner in them until the two move forward to courtship and after 8 months they got married and I am just so hapy to witness it all.

I hosted the reception with Carlo and sang a few songs during the ceremony. I was with Ivy and we were enjoying our time, not to say this mentor or discipleship thing is starting as she joins my leadership group, she is a blessing.

I just want to commend Carlo my co-host for the night, for being so gentleman all throughout the event. I don't know if it's OC or gentleman but being a vet in hosting weddings, he also became the runner, if the best man needs a champagne glass for his toast, if there's a male missing to play the part, he is game to fill in the role, if there's nitty gritty detail that has to be filled in, flash, he goes. I needed to stop him at times to not concern himself with stuff that is outside his task for the night and he willingly obliged. Maybe there are really some men who has that gift to see a need in advance and fills it in, that's Carlo, hats off to you partner. I had a blast hosting the entire event, I wouldn't mind doing it again.

Huh! I just need to be careful because I have two more weddings coming up but I'm thankful I will help at the background only, or not really because I will be singing at Rose's wedding. I love dressing up, meeting new people, developing new relationships, re-discovering old ones. What i don't like about weddings? Loosing weight, ha! But it's good for me I know though sometimes I loose track because I love desserts.

Great, I love desserts but I only got to eat after the reception when we showered the last rose petal to the bride on her way out the garden to their honeymoon. By that time, I unglamorously pulled a chair to rest my legs to rest them after 6 hours of running and standing. With Ivy on my right, Liza and Jeff at the other table having, talking out loud, who needs further entertainment? I was at the peak of the night's bliss. Debbie and Joy are like gentle breezes, so is Riz. What a night. Many single people are still seated at the tables, bonding, laughing and enjoying the leftovers, and there are lots of them we managed to take home a chunk of cake. And Carlo, he set the table so we could eat after, I was delighted and refreshed.

It was a beautiful night indeed. God is a Creator of beautiful things. And God never stop doing new things, I look forward til the next wedding.......Yes Carlo, ok I agree, it was a perfect night (although it was hot even by 9 pm).

Let it go!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-11T01:14:00.000+08:00

I never get sick because Im physically strong, but with my job, working 12 hrs daily during graveyard shifts, my body gave in today. You know how it feels when you have a lot of people bossing you around and they don't care if you can still take it because i look fine on the outside but inside, it's like, "how do i fit that in on my drowning schedule and deliverables?". I guess in life, you got to be a fighter, a calm fighter. Im learning to trust God to carry me through a storm now.

As I write now, I am not unravelling stuff but actually can see clearly why some things happen the way they are, let me put it in the words of T.D. Jakes:

"There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you
this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you
to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling
you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean
hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never
tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us
that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been
of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not
joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go."

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When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never
tied to anybody that left
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I really believe that how people value you determines those who are assigned to you. I don't know about you but I love sowing in the lives of people. I used to hang out with people of my own crowd. Well like most of us do, they should think like me, talk like me, walk like me, dress like me, went to the same school, my same club, something in common at least that we could share. Well, I have flushed that philosophy down the drain a long time ago. I hold one principle now, I sow and invest time and love to anyone that God sends my way because I believe that it is God who brought them to me at that particular time and i filter them through Mike Murdock's Law of recognition: "All that you need is already inside of you waiting to be recognized or lies on the people around you. Anything that is unrecognized is uncelebrated, anything that is unrecognized is unappreciated, anything that is unrecognized will gradually exit your life, be it a person, a gift, a talent, an uncommon mentor, lifelong relationships and breakthrough". I mean name it, everything under the sun is a gift from God if you recognize it.

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Anything that is unrecognized is uncelebrated, anything that is unrecognized is unappreciated, anything that is unrecognized will gradually exit your life, be it a person, a gift, a talent, an uncommon mentor, lifelong relationships and breakthrough
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So Let it Go! It doesn't mean that they are bad people but don't put so much effort in raising the dead and wear yourself out if they are not assigned to you. Focus on the destiny God has for you and that is what is in front of you. Don't be so consumed with long term plans that you fail to enjoy the moment. It's not worth throwing pearls to pigs or sow seeds outside your backyard. I just sacrificed my Isaac a day before my birthday and that was the start of the great revelation. When you decide to let it go, that is when God steps in and explains to you why you need to let go because now you can think clearly. So I did offer my sacred cow, and the next day I found my answers.

If you're hanging on to hurts and pains of the past, LET IT GO!
If you're hanging on to toxic relationships, LET IT GO!
If you're wasting your time to something you are not assigned, LET IT GO!
If you're sidetracked by an urgent activity but is not aligned with your destiny, LET IT GO!
If your schedule is so full you don't have time to pursue your dreams, back track the ones you really need and the rest, LET IT GO!
If there are people who refuse to let you in their lives instead disrespect your presence in their lives, LET THEM GO!

I know it is excess baggage when the person wears me out and I see no change in the person or that person doesn't recognize that I'm a gift to their life. It is excess baggage when they hinder you from being who you are, if they diminish your worth instead of adding up your value. But sometimes you will filter the wheat from the weeds when you let both of them grow. In the midst of a heated situation, you need to be able to harvest the wheat and leave the weeds and that takes time and requires you being there. Immerse yourself in the group and you'll see who your real friends are and leave the ones that are not assigned to you.

I was saying these to my leadership group, filter your relationships, whether you are mentoring them, considering them as your circle of friends, training people, plunging into a business opportunity. You need to be able to discern if it is worth your time, are they listening? Do they value you? Can you sustain the relationship? For how long? Are they assigned to you? I know that a person or a group of people is assigned to me, first and foremost, if they listen what I have to say. They don't need to agree but they value my presence. They invest time or make time to text, appreciate small things about me or what I've done for them, they want to spend more time and enjoy what I enjoy.

They are assigned to you If you have a burden to them and they open up when you begin to open yourself to them too. When you fill in the need and they appreciate you and they see you as part of their own group, regardless of the length of time you are with them.

Pride & Prejudice

2006-03-03T15:18:00.000+08:00

I watched Pride&Prejudice with Tin, Chito and Ana. Wow, I love the bed at fusion in GB3. Before watching the movie we were like princesses being served food in the bed table. The coolest thing ever! It was the most romantic film ever! I love how the man Mr. Darcy really acted like a man and how the woman Elizabeth never apologized for her strength and yet Mr. Darcy matched up with her. Wow, him saying these words, Mr. Darcy: "You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love... I love... I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." I guess all of us had our locked jaws open for like forever. The cinematography was excellent and it's all like a scene from your most favorite movie. Every still is like a postcard taken. I love the location, the charcaters. I love the way Mr. Darcy walked towards Elizabeth at the very last scene. I love the story overall!

The first time he laid his intentions were these words:

Mr. Darcy: I love you... most ardently...Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.

Mr. Darcy: I love you

Pride and Prejudice is the story of Mr and Mrs Bennet (minor gentry), their five daughters, and the various romantic adventures at their Hertfordshire residence of Longbourn. The parents' characters are greatly contrasted: Mr Bennet being a wise and witty gentleman; while Mrs Bennet is permanently distracted by the issue of marrying off her daughters at any cost. The reason for Mrs Bennet's obsession is that their estate will pass by law after Mr Bennet's death to his closest blood relative: his cousin, the Reverend William Collins (a fatuous, tactless and pompous man). Austen's tale is spurred on by the arrival of the young and wealthy bachelor Charles Bingley and his friend Fitzwilliam Darcy.

It is the story of the various affections, affectations and engagement shenanigans that develop due to Mrs Bennet's relentless matchmaking and the dashing Darcy's tempestuous relationship with Elizabeth Bennet who Jane Austen claimed was favourite amongst her literary offspring. Its 1797 earlier version was turned down for publication and it appeared in this form in 1813.

To get the full story of the book visit: http://www.bibliomania.com/0/0/6/8/frameset.html

To see the movie which I recommend, CHECK IT NOW!!! It's still showing.

I suggest you stop my site music that's currently playing (lower right) before you play this one. Please be patient as it loads very slowly at first then plays good as you allow the play button clicked all the time. =)

It's my bday!!!!!!!!!!! Yahoo!!!!

2006-03-03T14:22:00.000+08:00

I celebrated my birthday at Mr Choi (again!), no choice because I came from ENLI. My special friends came as gathered by the best cell leader ever Rose Bernardo. There's Kirt and Him, Derek, Miguel (thanks Miguel! -who prayed for me over the phone, God really restored our friendship), Macky ( thank you for the bouquet of flowers and chocolates), Aileen, Chito (my PS brother), my siblings (Paul Amerigo, Paul Jehu, Liza and Marco). I've never eaten and received too much chocolate in my life on the day of my birthday. It was too much that I needed to give most of it away and I need to hit the gym, which I just did earlier to burn all the calories I have consumed.

Ivy came all the way from her house by 9 pm, so is Dra. Joan. My dearest sister Carmina greeted me together with my ENLI friends. Suzanne my dear friend was there and Jua-anne. Some friends really didn't plan to come but out of my graciousness we followed them instead of them following us (but me writing this I suppose is not too gracious enough, kinda disappointed they didn't initiate spending time with me, maybe what they were doing were more important. I have move on though :) ). I missed Line, Tin and Grace that night and wish I could have spent the time with them and celebrate the ocassion with me. Well, I just learned a lot of things that night because God is about to move some of my boundaries. I'm in a major crossroad and God usually moves me each time I celebrate my bday because he is like that, in the business of promoting his kids. But before the promotion comes the shaking. As I write now I am being shaken by a lot of things and want keeps me going in my work, in my family, in my relationships is that I know that God is seated on His throne and He is in control. He will catch me when I fall.

My mom gave me this word for my birthday and I really claim it for myself.

"how blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free." - Isaiah 32:20